Don't know how secretive this person is being, but a request came via Twitter message for tiki punch for a party. This is going to be too long for 140 characters no matter how much I abbreviate.
The day before your party, put 2 pounds of brown sugar in a VERY large vessel. Squeeze 5 dozen oranges, 4 dozen lemons, and 3 grapefruit, all medium-sized fruits. Add the juices and spent shells to the vessel, and mix well. Peel and slice 10 bananas, and add them to the mix. Add 2 sprigs of mint and 10 bottles of dry white wine. Let stand overnight. The next day, strain out the solids. Add 6 bottles of light Puerto Rican rum and 1 bottle of dark Jamaican rum. Stir well. Pour over a large block of ice in a punch bowl or barrel, and let chill.
When I said a very large vessel, I wasn't whistlin' Dixie; the final quantity is about six gallons. Yes, you have to have completely fresh-squeezed fruit. Enlist friends with electric juicers to help if you need to. This won't be the same with bottled juice. When selecting wine, just about any dry white will work except oaky ones. As for rum, no need to knock yourself out with the super-premium ones when they have to compete with all that juice and wine, but still get something decent. I'd go with my workhorse Cruzan (yes, it's from the British Virgin Islands, but it's what I use when the recipe calls for Puerto Rican rum) for the light rum, and either Myers's or Coruba for the dark rum. For a little extra flair with the ice, fill balloons with 1 pint of water, place them in (on?) a teacup to keep the shape, and freeze. Then, peel the balloon off, rinse off the powder coating from the balloon interior, and use in place of the blocks of ice.
