What the Jester Had for Dinner

Stempkowski's New Place(s): The Details

2011-05-11T11:17:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I got to break the news that Robert Stempkowski, chef at Urban Campfire in Tempe, was going to get his own digs going once more. He's done with logistical details, and now I can tell you just where he's going to be this summer. Like a great number of chefs these days, he's doing pop-up dining!

The first venue is going to be the Days Inn on Camelback and 5th Avenue, doing barbecue poolside on Saturday, May 21 from 11 AM to 7 PM. I have yet to check out the venue myself, but Stempkowski describes it as "retro-chic", with the current restaurant proprietors, Italian restaurant Raimondo's, "dripping with disco-era vibe". Sounds like fun!

After the day at Days Inn, the calendar at Welcome Diner fills in a little more with Stempkowski taking over the tiny kitchen (and setting up his smoker out back) on Fridays and Saturdays all summer, starting in June and going through August. He'll be doing long days there with lunch and dinner, 11 AM until 9 PM. From what I can tell, Payton Curry will still be at Welcome Diner Sunday through Tuesday at least through June.

Now to wait ten more days until the Days Inn gig...

Good Drinking: The Margarita

2011-04-27T02:22:00.002-07:00

It looks like it's getting into margarita season. Tonight at work was on the slow side, and two people ordered them in a matter of fifteen minutes. At most bars that would be commonplace; when the house specialty is elaborate rum drinks, a frequency like that makes you sit up and take notice.

One of my guests said he wanted his margarita made the old-fashioned way, with agave syrup. Where oh where did people get this idea that the original margarita was made with agave syrup? It's even used by usually reliable food authority Alton Brown in his margarita recipe (the recipe is all kinds of wrong besides the agave syrup)! The only agave in a margarita should be fermented and distilled into tequila. Agave syrup is a very recent addition to the bartenders' stock; I hadn't heard of it when I first got behind the stick way back in 2007. Then out of nowhere, here's bottles of agave syrup (usually called agave nectar to make it sound more appealing), and people claiming that the original margarita uses agave syrup to sweeten in place of triple sec. What. The. Hell.

Folks, I'm going to say something that's going to pain a lot of amateur and professional mixologists: Stop using agave nectar. Its flavor profile is about as neutral as simple syrup. At $5 for a 12-ounce bottle of it, it's a hell of a lot more expensive than plain simple syrup, and more expensive by the ounce than a standard-grade triple sec! I'll let you finish what you have behind your bar since it isn't as abhorrent as bottled margarita mix or sweet and sour (you should only use these if you wish to ruin whatever cocktail you make with them), but once you've gone through your stock, just use simple syrup when you want sweetness, and use triple sec in your margaritas. It's how people have made them for decades, and it's how they should be made.

Recipe: THE Margarita

1½ ounces tequila blanco

1 ounce triple sec

½ ounce freshly squeezed lime juice

Shake everything with ice cubes. Strain into a salt-rimmed cocktail glass, or strain over fresh ice cubes in a salt-rimmed rocks glass.

Frozen is not an option, even when it's blazing hot outside. All that ice gets in the way of tasting your drink. If you prefer a sweeter margarita, add a little simple syrup to taste; I find ¼ ounce does the trick. If you prefer your margarita more tart, just add a little more lime juice.

Oh, while I'm on this soapbox: The salt rim. Countless margaritas around the world have been ruined by those damned salt rimmer gizmos. You've seen them before: There's a plastic dish with a sponge soaked in (Rose's) lime juice, and another dish full of kosher salt. The bartender squishes the glass into the lime sponge, rubs the moistened rim of the glass around in the salt, and voilà, the glass's rim is salted. There's one problem with this, and it's a biggie: There's now a bunch of salt on the inside of the glass. As soon as the bartender puts the glass down, a bunch of the salt shakes loose and lands on the bottom of the glass. Then when they fill the glass, the rest of the salt comes off. The result is a drink that will be mostly salt with the first sip of a straw. Eeeeew. Let me show you the way I learned, the One True Way:

THE Way to Rim a Cocktail Glass with Salt or Sugar

Rub a piece of lemon or lime (e.g. the lime you had to cut in half to get the juice for your margarita) around the outside of your glass to lightly coat the rim with juice. Holding the glass sideways, dip the rim of the glass into a shallow dish of sugar or kosher salt, rotating the glass to cover the entire rim. Hold the glass upside down over the sink, and tap the glass a couple of times to knock loose any excess salt or sugar. Turn the glass right-side-up, and proceed with your recipe.

If you expect to use a great deal of rimmed glasses in an evening (such as for a cocktail party featuring margaritas), you can rim your glasses well in advance; the salt will stay put. Don't know whether someone wants salt on the glass or not? Easy, elegant solution: Rim only half of the glass. If you want to get fancy with your drinks and rim the glass with something novel such as shredded coconut on a piña colada, or graham cracker crumbs on a key lime pie cocktail, or maybe even tiny candies like Nerds or Pop Rocks? You'll use something close to the typical method. All you need is a shallow dish of honey, and another dish of the ingredient for the rim. Dip the rim of the glass in the honey, then into the rimming ingredient. There is a certain knack to this; too much honey gets messy fast, while not enough honey leaves you with an empty rim. And make sure the ingredient is in tiny pieces; for something like shredded coconut you might want to chop the shreds up finer with a knife or a couple of pulses in a food processor.

Coming (Back) Soon: Stempkowski's Own Restaurant

2011-04-18T22:21:00.004-07:00

About three and a half years ago, local chef Robert Stempkowski opened his own restaurant after a good number of years working in Phoenix's finest kitchens. It was called Urban Campfire, and it was terrific. I yammered very enthusiastically about it to almost everyone I knew. It was a casual restaurant near ASU. Stempkowski cooked barbecue and smoked meats with a master's touch. Along with the great dishes came little fine dining touches with down-home flair, such as a deviled egg amuse-bouche, and Otter Pop mignardises. Then, he and the guy with the money behind the operation had a falling out; Stempkowski was gone. Without its driving force, the kitchen fell hard. The smoke in the meat disappeared, the meats were tougher, the macaroni and cheese's sauce broke... everything that came out of the kitchen showed they just didn't care anymore. Shortly after, the Campfire went out. Stempkowski stayed in the industry, this time working in the front of the house at notable local restaurants like noca and Rokerij.

Then today, I woke to an email from none other than Robert Stempkowski. It turns out he's getting set to open his own place again. The idea is going to be pretty similar, with a number of dishes from Urban Campfire making their return. There's also going to be some new things including smoked meats to-go and homemade sausage, a summertime snow cone bar (Is it too much to hope a liquor license will be involved?), and some Polish smokehaus-style comfort cuisine. Best of all, this time he's running the show all by himself.

Ya think I'm a little excited about all this? Oh, hell yes. Look for the new place to open in central Phoenix some time in May. And of course, look here for more details as Robert lets me know.

Event: Grow Your Own Mushrooms!

2011-04-11T21:55:00.002-07:00

One of the interesting things about running a food blog is that you get emails from all kinds of people hawking all kinds of different events. For the most part, they aren't all that exciting (a couple of chain restaurants suggesting they're the perfect place for everything from Easter brunch to Valentine's Day), or don't have much to do with food to begin with (TV shows with a restaurant as a main setting). But every now and then, something genuinely interesting and cool comes along, and you want to tell lots of people about it. It's been a while, but this is one of those times.

On the 26th of April at 6:30 pm at SkySong (the ASU facility anchored by the Cirque du Soleil big top looking thing on Scottsdale and McDowell), the nice folks at Maker Bench will present a class about growing your own culinary mushrooms. They will show you how to culture and grow oyster mushrooms right in your kitchen. Even if you don't have a green thumb, . Once you have the hang of it with oyster mushrooms, you can grow whatever other fungi your heart desires... Shiitakes, morels, the list goes on. Even better, attending the event is FREE. They're even nice enough to provide dinner! They have kits available for sale with everything you need; they're $99 if you register by the 19th, and $129 after that.

If you're interested (I sure am!) just go to the event's webpage to sign up.

Recipe: Jester's Own Orgeat!

2011-03-17T00:12:00.002-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I published on here a work in progress recipe for orgeat syrup. After some more testing, I now have the finalized version for you.

1 pound blanched whole almonds

2 cups filtered or bottled water, plus some extra

4 cups sugar

OPTIONAL INGREDIENTS:

1 oz vodka

1/8 tsp rose water

1/8 tsp orange flower water

Pulse almonds in food processor until coarsely ground. Alternatively, put almonds in a Ziploc freezer bag and beat the hell out of them with a rolling pin until coarsely ground. Combine almonds, water, and ½ cup of the sugar in a saucepan. Heat mixture until at a rolling boil. Remove from heat, and let stand overnight.

The next day, pour mixture through a double layer of cheesecloth (or a nylon straining bag from a homebrewing supply store). Twist cloth closed over almonds, and squeeze out as much almond water as possible. Add extra water to bring volume of liquid to 2 cups. Add remaining sugar, and heat until ALL of the sugar is fully dissolved. Let cool to room temperature. Add optional vodka and flower waters. Mix well, and store in the refrigerator. Will keep a few days without the vodka, a few weeks with.

The almond oils will separate in storage. To use, break up the oil layer with a chopstick if necessary, and shake well until fully dissolved.

Who knows, maybe soon I'll revise the recipe again soon. I'm inspired by gomme syrup, a pre-Prohibition version of simple syrup. It has a little gum arabic in there to stabilize the solution (keep crystals from forming), and has the added benefit of lending a silky mouthfeel. The gum arabic will serve triple duty in the orgeat since it will also keep the flavorful oils suspended in solution.

For the person who needs it

2011-03-15T21:57:00.005-07:00

Don't know how secretive this person is being, but a request came via Twitter message for tiki punch for a party. This is going to be too long for 140 characters no matter how much I abbreviate.

Trader Vic's Tahitian Rum Punch For 100:

The day before your party, put 2 pounds of brown sugar in a VERY large vessel. Squeeze 5 dozen oranges, 4 dozen lemons, and 3 grapefruit, all medium-sized fruits. Add the juices and spent shells to the vessel, and mix well. Peel and slice 10 bananas, and add them to the mix. Add 2 sprigs of mint and 10 bottles of dry white wine. Let stand overnight. The next day, strain out the solids. Add 6 bottles of light Puerto Rican rum and 1 bottle of dark Jamaican rum. Stir well. Pour over a large block of ice in a punch bowl or barrel, and let chill.

When I said a very large vessel, I wasn't whistlin' Dixie; the final quantity is about six gallons. Yes, you have to have completely fresh-squeezed fruit. Enlist friends with electric juicers to help if you need to. This won't be the same with bottled juice. When selecting wine, just about any dry white will work except oaky ones. As for rum, no need to knock yourself out with the super-premium ones when they have to compete with all that juice and wine, but still get something decent. I'd go with my workhorse Cruzan (yes, it's from the British Virgin Islands, but it's what I use when the recipe calls for Puerto Rican rum) for the light rum, and either Myers's or Coruba for the dark rum. For a little extra flair with the ice, fill balloons with 1 pint of water, place them in (on?) a teacup to keep the shape, and freeze. Then, peel the balloon off, rinse off the powder coating from the balloon interior, and use in place of the blocks of ice.

Cooking: Blanching Your Own Almonds

2011-02-27T04:28:00.003-07:00

I went out to get myself some blanched whole almonds the other day so I can (finally) get to work on my Mk II Jester's Own Orgeat.

I take back what I said in the original orgeat post regarding the availability of blanched whole almonds. You can't find the damn things anywhere.

At least, nowhere I looked. Wouldn't surprise me if AJ's has them (at their usual exorbitant upcharge), or the mega-Fry's up on Tatum and Shea (but I refuse to shop at places that have those goddamn loyalty cards, but that's a whole other post)... Maybe I should have ducked my head into a Middle Eastern grocer? Anyway, I bought myself a pound of raw almonds from Trader Joe's, and easily turned them into a pound of blanched almonds. Here's how, it's a piece of cake.

Get some water boiling in a saucepan. How much water, you ask? About enough to cover the almonds by an inch or two. The easiest way to figure this out is to put your almonds in the empty pan, fill with water to the desired level, then remove the almonds. Once the water is boiling, put the almonds in the boiling water. Cook for about 30 seconds. Drain the almonds, and either rinse the almonds under cold water or transfer them to an ice bath to stop the cooking. Then, just pick up an almond and squeeze the big end. The skin should slip right off. Aim towards a bowl with a clean dish towel in it. The dish towel will both dry the almonds, and help keep the skinned almond from shooting across the room.

Now that you have your freshly blanched almonds, proceed as previously directed with the recipe. Salud!

Mailbag: Homemade Orgeat

2011-01-19T21:14:00.012-07:00

UPDATE 3/17/2011: I've done more testing; the recipe is all finished (for now). Check it out here! This version will stay up for posterity's sake.

UPDATE 3/7/2011: I made two batches by this recipe, a beta 1 by this recipe and a beta 2 with twice the almonds. Neither one came out with much of any almond flavor. There were a couple of hiccups during the first round of testing, so I think I'll retest this before going back to the drawing board, probably by adding even more almonds.

Some time this morning while I was slumbering, a bottle with a note inside washed up on the shore just steps from the back door of Casa de Jester. I popped the cork, slid out the note, and the magnificent calligraphy read:

Would you be so kind as to tell us about how one makes orgeat from scratch?
--Volstead's Conundrum

Why of course, Mr. (Ms.?) Conundrum, I would be delighted. First, a little background information: Orgeat is an almond-flavored syrup that is a tiki bar mainstay. Victor "Trader Vic" Bergeron favored it, using it in such famous drinks as the Scorpion, the Samoan Fog Cutter, and his magnum opus, the Mai Tai. While there are numerous commercial orgeat syrups (including one made by Trader Vic's), making it at home is pretty simple.

Oh, a little secret: This is a work in progress, my untested Mk II version. If you make it, let me know how it turns out.

Start out with ½ pound of blanched whole almonds. Blanched slivered almonds are a poor substitute; they are inevitably stale. If you can't find blanched whole almonds, you can blanch your own; the technique is readily available online. You can use raw almonds with the skins as a shortcut, but you'll end up with a tan colored syrup instead of the opalescent white color orgeat should have. You may be tempted to toast the almonds for a deeper flavor. Don't do it! At least, not if you're trying to make orgeat. You'll get toasted almond syrup. Mind you, toasted almond syrup is quite delicious, it just isn't the desired end result. Anyway, chop up the almonds any way you see fit. A knife works well, a food processor will do it in a blink, a Ziploc bag and rolling pin is fine too. Don't worry about precision; some of the pieces can be coarsely chopped while others are close to powder. Add 1 cup of sugar and a quart of bottled or filtered water to the pot. Bring it to a boil, remove it from the heat, and let rest 12 hours.

Next step: strain out the almonds. Put a double layer of cheesecloth in a strainer, and pour the almond mixture into it. Once the liquid has stopped draining out, twist the cheesecloth closed over the top and squeeze out all the liquid you can. If you're feeling perfectionistic, you can give it a second straining through a coffee filter, but the cheesecloth should do just fine. Pour the almond liquid back into the pot, and add 7 cups of sugar. Heat this until the sugar is completely dissolved. Make sure that all the sugar is dissolved, but don't let it boil! There are consequences to be had either way! If the liquid doesn't get hot enough, the sugar will crystallize into almond rock candy. If it gets too hot, you'll have a very sticky boil-over on your hands. Bad juju either way. Once the sugar is completely dissolved, take the mixture off the heat and let cool to room temperature. Once it's cooled, add in rose water and orange flower water to taste. The taste of the flower waters should be a subtle background note. If it tastes like orange flowers or roses, there's too much in there. At this point, If you wish you can add a shot or so of vodka to the syrup to act as a preservative. Pour the cooled syrup into bottles, and store it in the fridge.

When homemade orgeat syrup sits, the flavorful oils will separate from the sugar syrup. Just insert a chopstick to break up the top layer, then put the cap back on and shake vigorously until the mixture is homogeneous once more.

There are some things I need to test on future versions. Foremost is the amount of almonds. I plan to test this by making a batch with ½ pound of almonds and another batch with 1 pound of almonds, then combining equal parts of those to see how a batch made with ¾ pound of almonds works. I also need to get a precise amount for the flower waters down. And it will be fun to test the effect on taste of various preservative spirits. Vodka will be neutral, but cognac or silver rum may add pleasant notes.

Now that I've told you all that, I'll tell you the quick-and-dirty version: Buy almond milk at a health food store (it's next to the soy milk), mix 1½ parts sugar to 1 part almond milk (2:1 if your almond milk is unsweetened), heat until all the sugar has dissolved, and once cooled add rose and orange flower waters to taste. Since commercial almond milk has soy lecithin as an emulsifier, it will not separate like homemade orgeat.

So to the elusive figures behind Volstead's Conundrum, there's your orgeat from scratch. I bid you, and everyone reading, good drinking.

Speaking of good drinking, you didn't think I'd leave you without things to do with your freshly made orgeat, did you?

Trader Vic's Original Mai Tai
Juice of one large lime (about 3/4 ounce)
2 ounces aged dark Jamaican rum
¼ ounce orgeat
¼ ounce rock candy syrup (simple syrup made 2 parts sugar to 1 part water)
½ ounce orange Curaçao
Shake everything with crushed ice. Pour into a double rocks glass, and garnish with a mint sprig and spent lime half.

Momisette
1½ ounces absinthe (or pastis)
½ ounce orgeat
Sparkling water to fill
Build in a Collins glass with ice cubes, stir gently.

Orgeat syrup is fun to play with. You can substitute orgeat syrup for some or all of a syrup ingredient (e.g. simple syrup, grenadine, etc.) in your favorite drink recipes. Yes, you can substitute it for grenadine. You'll have a different drink, but that's the idea! And don't stop at cocktails... Orgeat-sweetened coffee, iced tea, lemonade... the mind reels.

Scottsdale Sushi Fans: Good News!

2011-01-08T14:19:00.003-07:00

Some years ago, I had the very good fortune to visit Shinbay, an incredible one-man show of a sushi restaurant, run by chef Shinji Kurita. This was one of the best meals I've had anywhere. I still remember a number of the delicious tastes even years later. Then one day it closed up, and aside from a short stint at Autumn Court, little was heard of chef Shinji Kurita again. I still wondered about his whereabouts here and there. Well, wonder no more. Late last night, a couple of anonymous comments were left on an old blog post here that Kurita-san is bringing back Shinbay in a couple of months, this time in the Scottsdale Seville shopping center on the northeast corner of Scottsdale Road and Indian Bend. A quick look at the Scottsdale Seville website confirms the news.

Sushi lovers, this is possibly better news than when Nobuo Fukuda opened his eponymous restaurant at Teeter House. Part of me hopes the exclusive service style (the original restaurant served no more than six guests at once, and almost exclusively served omakase dinners) will remain, but another part of me hopes I can just drop in whenever I want instead of making a reservation a couple of days in advance.

'Tis the Season for Hot Buttered Rum

2010-11-22T13:07:00.003-07:00

One of my Twitter pals recently was recommended a delightful remedy for a sore throat: Hot buttered rum. It's one of my favorite parts of chilly nights, and it's dead simple to make! The first thing to do is to make the hot buttered rum batter. All you need are:

1 stick butter, softened
1/2 pound dark brown sugar (or 1 cup plus a little extra if you don't feel like weighing it)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 pinch salt

Mix it all together well (the KitchenAid mixer for about 3 or 4 minutes on medium comes in handy here, but a wooden spoon and bowl will work too), and store it in the fridge. As far as I can tell, it keeps indefinitely; I've left a forgotten batch in the back of the fridge for over a year and it still tasted just fine.

Now that you have your batter, making the hot buttered rum itself goes much faster. Get out an Irish coffee glass or a favorite small coffee mug (8 ounces works pretty well). Add 1 ounce light rum, a generous teaspoonful of the hot buttered rum batter, and top up the mug with boiling hot water (the cold ingredients will bring it down to a drinkable temperature). Garnish with a cinnamon stick, and you're good to go. For bonus points at outdoor gatherings, have everything you need out near the fire (with hot water in a thermal carafe), and keep a poker in the fire. When you serve up a hot buttered rum, dip the poker in the finished drink to give it a little extra warmth. Naturally, if you do this, don't fill the cups all the way to the rim! The hot buttered rum batter is nicely versatile; most any dark spirit works well. Hot buttered Scotch or Bourbon are both very nice.

I feel somewhat compelled to mention: Be conservative with the booze for hot buttered rum. If you make big mugs of hot buttered rum, the second half of the drink will be Lukewarm Buttered Rum, something not nearly as enjoyable. Heat brings out alcohol flavors, and the rum will quickly dominate if you try to add more to a normal size drink. Most importantly, hot drinks are mighty potent relaxation devices, and you don't want your whole party to fall asleep.

Mailbag: Turkey Time!

2010-11-08T15:19:00.003-07:00

Brenda from Utah sent via carrier pigeon this missive:

So what are your best tips for cooking Thanksgiving turkey? Nothing fancy, just flavorful and not dry.

The classic Thanksgiving dilemma. So many people eat turkey on Thanksgiving, and so rarely does it come out tasting as good as it looks. Good news: The secrets are simpler than you think.

The biggest thing for a moist bird: Don't overcook it. Most birds come with a little pop-up thermometer thingie. It's cute, but using it means that your turkey is going to suck. The pop-up thermometer goes off at 185°, guaranteeing breast meat as dry as chalk. Get a digital probe thermometer like the excellent ThermoWorks Cooking Thermometer and use that. The meat should register 160° in both the thigh and breast. Usually the breast meat races ahead of the thigh meat; you can mitigate this some by filling a gallon Ziploc bag with ice cubes and draping it over the breast for 20 minutes to half an hour while you heat up the oven. Also on this topic, as tasty as stuffing cooked inside the turkey is, cook the stuffing on the side. If you stuff the bird, the stuffing has to also hit 160°, and the turkey itself will be way overcooked by that point. If you insist on stuffing the bird, put it in a covered dish in the microwave, and zap it, stirring every couple of minutes, until the temperature of it is 130° throughout.

Second thing for a moist bird and biggest thing for a flavorful bird: Brining. Introducing salt to the meat will both keep the bird moist, and make it taste better. Most supermarket birds are already brined. There will be something on the label mentioning it, usually saying something like "Moisture enhanced with up to 10% of a solution". Don't brine these, you'll end up with a bird that is closer to a salt lick. Just take it out of its package the night before cooking and let it sit uncovered in the refrigerator so the skin can dry a little for crisper skin on the finished product. If your turkey has not been brined, then brining it will greatly improve it. Lots of people brine theirs by putting it in a salt water solution, but I find this to be a huge pain in the ass when doing it with something as big as a turkey. I prefer to use a method I do for roast chickens: dry brining. Just sprinkle salt (about 3/4 teaspoon per pound, be generous) and pepper all over the bird two or three days in advance, and let it rest covered loosely in the refrigerator. If you want, before sprinkling on the salt, loosen the skin on the breast and thighs, and slide a few sprigs of herbs (thyme, rosemary, sage, what have you) underneath.

Glad you asked, Brenda! Thank you!

If you have a cooking conundrum of your own, just drop me a line and I'll be glad to help you out.

The Jester Eats Las Vegas: Part I

2010-10-14T14:10:00.003-07:00

*taps the microphone* Er... is this thing on? OK, so I've been neglecting the blog in favor of Twitter lately. Then, recently, for no good reason, the visitors here doubled in a week. I'm not questioning it, just appreciative, so I might as well give you something new to read since I just got home from a wonderful trip to Las Vegas.

Things started out down in Tempe with a quick breakfast at the new version of Stan's Metro Deli on Mill, up on the north end of the street on a corner I swear is cursed. I've seen so many things come and go from there that I don't hold much faith anymore for whatever decides to go in on that corner. I think Stan's is going to do pretty well if breakfast is any indication. The kitchen was having some new restaurant teething issues; the food came out slower than we had hoped, but the manager handled the situation well by bringing out some complimentary fresh fruit for us to nibble on. I opted for the #2 "Bob Parks Gallery" omelet, stuffed with Cheddar, bacon, and green chiles. Once it came out, I had no complaints; it was a good solid omelet, with decent potatoes and a little more fruit to round out the plate. With our bellies full, we hopped into the Jestermobile and took off for Vegas.

One of my scheduled pit stops on the way to Vegas was beautiful downtown Wikieup, home of Eat At Joe's Barbecue, some of the finest barbecue this state has to offer. We were feeling only a little peckish, so the plan was to split something small and get back on the road. Alas, our pit stop was cut short by a dark restaurant and a sign in the window saying they were on vacation until well after we would return home. Heads hanging a little low, we hit the road cursing the lack of Mojave Greens on this trip.

Fast forward a few hours, and we were now in the heart of Las Vegas. After a quick run to Gambler's General Store to pick up some pai gow dominoes (a game I've taken quite a fascination with lately), we had gone from a bit peckish to absolutely famished. My usual plan when I hit Vegas is to make a beeline for one of the finest coffee shops in all the land, the Peppermill Restaurant. However, my stomach had other plans. You see, it had been over a year and a half since my previous Vegas vacation, and therefore it had been that long since I had the amazing Frrrozen Hot Chocolate from Serendipity 3 at Caesars Palace. After a short wait for a table, we got ourselves a table on the patio overlooking the Strip, giving us the perfect vantage point to play Thong/Not A Thong/Not A Thing with the passersby below. Thanks to a Foursquare check-in, we got a couple of $4 welcome blueberry martinis, which were a tad on the sweet side and tasted more of generic berry than specifically blueberries. I was a bit disappointed that management had trimmed some of the more fun stuff from the menu, such as the Macaroni & Cheese Pizza I had last time (they still serve mac & cheese, how hard would it be to throw it on a pizza crust?) and the infamous Bachelorette Hot Dog. The Frrrozen Hot Chocolate tasted as good as it did last time, but it wasn't blended long enough, and chunks of ice that got stuck in the straw marred the texture of the drink. My friend Scott went for the ABC burger, where the ABC stood for Avocado, Brie, and Caramelized onion, served with sweet potato fries. I had heard good things about their Caesar salad, so we decided to split both the burger and the salad. After a bit more of a wait than I would have liked (apparently the management's efforts to streamline the kitchen didn't go as planned), the food hit the table, and it was good. The burger had some stiff competition from Burger Bar down at Mandalay, and as I figured, Burger Bar is still my champion for Las Vegas burgers. The one here was good, don't get me wrong, but Burger Bar just plain nails it. I think that the brie was somewhat misplaced, here more for its initial than anything else. The Caesar salad was a good textbook Caesar, with plenty of croutons (pity they were the standard boxed ones) and Parmesan shavings to accent the assertive dressing. Part of the allure of the Caesar is that it comes with a giant crouton almost the size of a Rubik's cube. Well, it at least looks like a crouton; it was more of a piece of very thick extra-crispy garlic toast. I think the next time I'm in Vegas, I'll take a look to see if they've brought any of the fun dishes back to the menu before I sit down. If they haven't, I'll take my Frrrozen Hot Chocolate to go.

Review: Smashburger, Tempe AZ

2009-12-10T04:12:00.007-07:00

Jeez, it's about time I updated this thing. JUNE? Really? Pioneer Woman churns out updates with LOTS of photos every single day, and I can't be bothered to write about a restaurant or cooking for six months. At least I got to meet PW on her book tour. She's an awfully nice lady. Anyway, the title of this post isn't What The Hell The Jester's Been Up To All This Time (hint about other things that happened: Aim your car's airbag at your chest, not your face), it's about a brand new burger place in the heart of Tempe.

Before Smashburger even opened, there were press releases in my inbox about this brand new burger place opening on campus just yards away from long-time (Over 278 Sold!) college favorite The Chuckbox. When I looked at their website and saw that they are hellbent on opening franchised locations across the country, I was a little nervous. When I saw that it was opening in the same strip of restaurants that included such dreary options as Port of Subs and Panda Express, I would have bet you pot brownies to pound cake that Smashburger would be anything but a smash hit.

My friend Blaze and I wandered in on an unseasonably warm autumn Arizona evening. I was in the mood for something classic, so I got their 1/3 lb. Classic Smashburger (American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup, and Smash sauce on an egg bun; $4.99) and an order of Smashfries ($1.79 when ordered with a burger, $2.79 a la carte), which are fries tossed with garlic and herbs. Blaze was feeling as fiery as ever, so she went for the Arizona Smashburger (habañero jack, guacamole, lettuce, tomato, onion, fresh jalapeños, and chipotle mayo on a chipotle bun $5.99) in the same size. For her side, she was feeling a little healthy, so she went for the veggie frites ($2.99/$3.99). After a quick trip to the soda fountain (Woohoo, they have Coke Zero!), we settled into one of the booths by the window overlooking all of the nubile coeds and virile gents strolling up and down College Avenue.

A short time later (maybe a bit less time than one has to wait at the In-N-Out up Rural Road), our chow hit the table and our eyes lit up. The minimalist plating, a wax paper lined steel basket free of garnishes such as the silly shredded carrots and beets at Delux, only focused our attention on the matter at hand that much more. I flipped the toppings onto the bottom half of the burger and dug in. I was blown away. This burger was as close to perfection as I've seen. The patty had a nice sear on it but was still juicy, the toppings were fresh and crisp, and they gave the bun a good buttering and toasting before they assembled the whole thing. The fries were delicious too. But then, anything deep-fried and covered with garlic is going to be tasty. I think Blaze liked her burger. When I got up from the table to refill my beverage, I came back to see her burger GONE and she's staring like a starving hyena at what's left of my burger. I can only take that as a good sign. I quizzed her about it to make sure she didn't just inhale the thing. She said that the fresh jalapeños were much better than the canned ones you see on top of bad nachos, and that next time she's ordering it with extra jalapeño. She also remarked that she wasn't a fan of the chipotle bun because it didn't hold up all that well under the juicy burger and all the toppings. I'm not sure how she could figure that out; I think I couldn't have hummed the Jeopardy theme in the time it took her to devour that burger. She then set her eyes on the veggie frites, and took a bit more time to enjoy those. I was expecting to see a tempura style batter on the vegetable pieces, but instead the asparagus, green beans, and carrot sticks were fried au naturel, and finished with a sprinkle of salt and some ranch dressing for our dipping pleasure. We were both quite fans of these. The frying helped caramelize the natural sugars in the veggies, and gave them quite a delicious flavor. They weren't crispy like the Smashfries were (of course they weren't, these veggies aren't high in starch like Russet potatoes), but they certainly weren't cooked to death either. I look forward to future visits to see if a normal side salad can be as interesting.

The total bill for both of us was just shy of $20. While that's fairly high for a quick-service burger joint, I still felt it was a great value. The burgers were better than they had any right to be for a burgeoning nationwide chain, and everything else about the place was just right. I'm quite curious about their salads and hot dogs to see if they're up to the same par as the burgers. Maybe I can convince myself to try one of their Häagen-Dazs milkshakes by getting myself a salad for my entree so the two can cancel each other out.

Red Mango Scottsdale: NOW OPEN!

2009-06-13T12:02:00.002-07:00

Good news for all of you fans of Korean style tangy frozen yogurt: The original, Red Mango, has finally opened its first Phoenix area outpost. It's on the northwest corner of Scottsdale and Loop 101, adjacent to Panda Express and Subway. This is a soft opening; the grand opening is June 20th. If you enjoy froyo, go check 'em out. Be warned, it's adictive stuff. I went last night, had myself a medium original (best described as yogurt-flavored frozen yogurt) topped with raspberries and mochi. I didn't even make it to the freeway before I found myself making a beeline right back to Red Mango for a little more.

I got Name-Dropped!

2009-05-29T02:08:00.002-07:00

"[The Jester]. . .concocts the best Mai Tai outside the Hawaiian Islands."
--Scottsdale Examiner

Yeah, it was pretty much a puff piece, but I'm still taking the quote and running with it.

I Got A Grill!

2009-05-14T01:16:00.003-07:00

Not just any grill, mind you. I went and got myself a Big Green Egg. It's sort of the home version of the Chinese wood-fired oven we use at work. The main difference is that the BGE goes back to Japan, while the Chinese wood-fired oven is, well... Chinese. I have some beer-butt chicken going right now (wherein one takes a can of beer and jams it up a chicken's back end, creating an impromptu vertical roaster) and some baked potatoes. After that, I'm going to turn up the heat and bake a loaf of bread. There was temptation to also make some peach cobbler, but I'll save that for another time. Wish me luck!

Recipe: Monsoon Chili

2009-04-17T13:50:00.003-07:00

If you've been reading the blog for a while, you know that one of my most often used cookbooks in my kitchen is the Nantucket Open-House Cookbook by Sarah Leah Chase. There are some seriously good recipes in there. Several of her Thanksgiving ideas turned into traditions last year. A couple of days ago, I got in the mood for chili, so I took a look at the recipe for Rainwater Chili and gave it a shot. Turns out it's some darn good chili. Much like Chase said in the book, it was even better the next day and makes for incredible nachos. There were a couple of things that I felt like changing a bit with the recipe, so I've taken those liberties and christened it for Arizona's most beloved source of rainwater, the monsoon.

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 large Spanish onions, chopped

1 green bell pepper, seeded and diced
1 red or yellow bell pepper, seeded and diced
3 jalapeños, seeded and minced
5 cloves garlic, minced

1/4 cup chili powder
2 Tbsp ground cumin
2 Tbsp dried oregano
1 Tbsp sweet paprika
1 Tbsp hot paprika
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp ground cardamom
3 Tbsp cocoa powder

2 lbs chuck roast, cut into 3/4 inch cubes (or 2 lbs ground chuck roast if you don't feel like cutting up all that meat)
3/4 lb sweet Italian sausage, casings removed
3/4 lb hot Italian sausage, casings removed

1-28 ounce can whole tomatoes
1-14 ounce can diced tomatoes
1/2 cup reposado tequila
1 bottle beer
2 cups chicken broth (or you can do what I do and cheat this with 2 teaspoons of chicken base)

Salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

Heat oil over medium-high heat in a big pot (at least 5 quarts, preferably 6). Add onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until very soft, about 10 minutes.

Add peppers, jalapeños, and garlic, and cook, stirring occasionally, for another 7 minutes. Add all of the seasonings and cocoa and cook, stirring occasionally, until aromatic and dark, about 3 minutes. Remove pan from the heat.

While vegetables are cooking, brown beef and sausage, crumbling the meat up with a spoon, until no longer pink. Strain off excess fat, and add meat to pot. Return pot to medium heat. Stir in tomatoes (crush the whole tomatoes with the back of a spoon or your hands), tequila, beer, and chicken broth. Simmer uncovered for 60 minutes if you're using the chicken base, 90 minutes if you're using the broth. Check the seasonings near the end of the cooking time, and add salt and black pepper to taste.

Accompany the chili with your choice of sour cream, shredded cheese, diced onion, diced tomatoes, and diced avocados.

Why the chain disdain?

2009-02-26T23:13:00.003-07:00

In the comments on my post about The Greek Wraps in Peoria, I got an excellent question from Sean of South Bend, Indiana. I think that answering a thoughtful question deserves a better fate than getting buried in a comment thread. Sean writes...

I wonder, though; do you have any favorable opinion of any of the chains? I've always thought that Chevy's did a servicable interpretation of TexMex and was a better experience overall than some of the local places and regional chains (ie Soranos in Mesa or Ajo Als). I still love Blue Nile Cafe any time I'm in town, and would tend to privilige an independtly owned, and especially chef driven, restaurant over a chain but chains (at least some of them) still have their virtues.

The main problem with most chain restaurants is that they are publicly held companies. Once a company does that, the big food decisions are no longer being made in the kitchen by the owners. They're being made by stockholders in boardrooms. The absolute best example is Cheesecake Factory. I still remember the first time I went to one. I got orange chicken, took a bite, and my very first thought of any food at Cheesecake Factory was "This used to taste better". You could just tell that anything someone might not like about the dish got tossed ("It's too spicy!" "It's too tart!"), and the end result was a pale ghost of what the dish could have been. Since the major decisions are now being made by marketing wonks who run focus groups, everything interesting about a dish gets tossed in favor of something safe. To me, it's a little bit like American Idol: The person who wins isn't necessarily the best singer, but the singer with the broadest mass appeal. Sure, the record may sound like every other pop record on the rack, but they know it's going to sell.

That right there is why massive chain restaurants are so popular: They're safe. You can walk into any Olive Garden in the country and know that the fettuccine Alfredo there is going to be exactly the same as the fettuccine Alfredo you have back home. The thing is, within ten minutes' driving time from each of these two Olive Garden locations on opposite sides of the country, the odds are good that there's going to be a mom-n-pop neighborhood red sauce joint that not only serves up Alfredo that's a million times better than the Alfredo at Olive Garden, but also happens to make a really mean veal scaloppine... or pizza quattro stagioni... or some other fabulous dish. And you know darn well that the mom and pop behind the restaurant can't believe that the line goes out the door at Olive Garden while there's always a table available at their place.

All this isn't to say that all chains suck... just the vast majority of them. There are some chains I do enjoy. In-N-Out Burger and Chik-Fil-A are both very good restaurants. Mimi's has been reliable for a great many years, especially at breakfast. This is one of the exceptions to publicly owned chains. This is because when Bob Evans bought them out, they didn't screw with the already successful formula very much. Moral of the story: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I've heard Mimi's is shooting for a more upscale angle lately, but I haven't been in to check it out yet. As long as they keep serving mimosas, I'll be a happy camper. I will readily admit that I enjoy the occasional late-night breakfast at Waffle House. Yes, Waffle House. I wouldn't be caught dead there during the day, but going at 2 AM, getting taken care of by the world-weary chain-smoking waitress with a hair color not known in the natural world, while you tuck into a double order of hash browns topped with chili, tomatoes, cheese, onions, and god knows what else... there ain't nothing like it.

Like Sean said, Chevy's is pretty good, certainly a step above most chains. The problem around here with Chevy's is that good Mexican restaurants in Phoenix are a dime a dozen. Why bother with imitations when the real deal is right around the corner? I will agree that Chevy's is better than Serrano's and Ajo Al's, but then, I've always thought that Serrano's was the redheaded stepchild to other local chains such as Mi Amigo's and Macayo. Ajo Al's is solamente para las turistas.

Review: The Greek Wraps, Peoria AZ

2009-02-25T05:12:00.004-07:00

Settling into the new house is going pretty well. The kitchen is ready for prime time, as is most of the house. The big game room in the back is currently finding use as an enormous walk-in storage unit. All of this busy work left me ready for a vacation, but those take a little planning and I wanted one NOW. Well, it's now past tense, so I suppose it would be better to say I wanted one RIGHT THEN, but that doesn't have the same punch as wanting it NOW, n'est-çe pas? Anyway, for the first time in several years there's actually a movie in theatres that I want to go see: Coraline in 3-D. I looked up movie times for it and it turns out that it's playing in 3-D at places all around the edge of town, plus Arizona Mills. Since I have friends up towards Peoria that I haven't seen in a while, I fired off an invitation to come see the movie with me and headed on my merry way up to the area of Arrowhead Towne Center.

A few moments after I picked up tickets for the late showing, my friends called to let me know that they already had people over but I was more than welcome to join them. Since I already had my ticket for the show, this was not an option. I now found myself with close to two hours to kill, and a completely open dance card. I stopped by the mall and made a beeline for See's to pillage the post-Valentine's Day chocolate. A couple of oversized chocolate Bordeaux hearts later, I found myself getting quite hungry. The food court looked as unappealing as ever, so I trekked out to survey the surrounding area.

A few moments of reconnaissance showed that selections in the area are awfully bleak. Turns out the Arrowhead area is the third circle of chain restaurant hell. Cheesecake Factory, PF Chang's, Chevy's, Buca di Beppo, Red Lobster, Olive Garden, you name it. Since I was on my own, I didn't want to succumb to mediocrity. I knew of a couple of places on the other side of the 101 along Union Hills, but I decided to see what I could find that was interesting and new. It turned out I wouldn't have to look for as long as I thought I would. There, tucked away in a strip mall (It's Arrowhead, there's nothing but strip malls and tract housing for miles!) on the southeast corner of 75th Avenue and Bell, was a decidedly non-chain looking sign for a place called The Greek Wraps. I pondered for a moment, decided gyros sounded like a tasty idea, and brought the Jestermobile in for a landing.

I arrived just in the nick of time, 15 minutes before closing. The place looked vaguely chain-y, but not overly so. I'd almost be willing to bet that a failed franchise (maybe two) didn't take root in the space, and all the new owners had to do was put up framed prints of the Greek isles. You wouldn't have guessed they were winding down the business day from the business level in the restaurant. There was a slow but steady stream of people coming in either for take-out or a quick sit-down bite. A look at the menu hanging over the counter showed the usual suspects: Shawarma, hummus, falafel, gyros, et cetera. The different offerings were available either as a sandwich (with sundry toppings, wrapped in pita bread; fries and drink are an optional extra) or as a plate (served with rice, hummus, and a small salad). The menu also showed something I was absolutely thrilled to see: They make their own pita bread. Not only do they make their own pita bread, they bake it fresh to order.

I perused the menu, and thought that steak shawarma ($6.99 for the 10" wrap; a smaller 7" pita is $5.75) sounded absolutely delicious. It's hard to resist when the menu says they use "The original recipe from back home". Turned out everyone else that day thought it sounded delicious too, as they were all out of it for the night. The chicken shawarma ($6.25 and $4.99, respectively) was made by the same recipe, so I went with that instead. A little extra nibble sounded nice, so I added on a falafel appetizer ($1 for two pieces). I put together an Arnold Palmer from the self-serve beverage machine (my only quibble is the iced tea is the pre-made Gold Peak instead of fresh-brewed), checked my watch to make sure I had enough time to make it to the theatre (I still had an hour to go), and a few minutes later my shawarma was ready.

The falafel was piping hot out of the fryer, just the way it should be. I think the fryer could have been a wee bit hotter as they were just a little bit oily, but not unpleasantly so. The shawarma was utterly divine. Their use of chicken thighs kept the meat flavorful and juicy. The shawarma marinade was vibrant, and the pita... oh, the pita. I can't even begin to tell you what a difference freshly made pita bread makes. I may have to come in for some hummus and a huge stack of pita bread some time soon, never mind that the place is 15 miles from my house. The fries were the archetype Greek restaurant fries, same ones you'll find at every other casual Greek place in town. They were hot and crisp, really can't ask much more than that from a fry, can you? All told, I was absolutely thrilled with the meal I had at The Greek Wraps. The people who run the place care about the product they put out, and it shows. I'm looking for any excuse to get back up towards Arrowhead just so I can try more things on the menu. Maybe I'll go see Coraline again...

Oh, speaking of Coraline, go catch it in theatres while you can... especially in 3D. It's a trip and a half.

Stopping for a drink: Hanny's, Phoenix AZ

2009-02-10T21:36:00.004-07:00

I recently got together with a friend for dinner in downtown Phoenix, and remembered that I'd been wanting to stop in at Hanny's to check out the place. The food menu does look tempting, but as I'd just finished a rather hearty dinner, more sustenance was not on the bill. The place used to be a men's clothing store back in its day, and the new owners wisely kept some of the decorative touches, giving a certain urban sophistication that was much appreciated. As with the owners' other local restaurant, AZ88, the restrooms are almost worth the trip on their own. I can't imagine how much of a nightmare it would be to navigate one's way to the loo if you're three sheets to the wind. After perusing my surroundings, I sidled up to the bar and perused the cocktail selections, only to be promptly dismayed that there were no after-dinner libations. There was some temptation to try ordering a Stinger or a Rusty Nail (either of which would certainly befit the atmosphere), but I have a feeling that our bartender who appeared barely of drinking age would have given me a blank stare.

Further observation of the boy behind the stick leads me to believe that anything more than what was on the menu would be met with the aforementioned blank stare, as he proved himself to be out of his league. I ordered a Cosmopolitan, and watched him go to work. Out from the chiller came a pleasantly small Art Deco era size cocktail glass. I'm glad to see a cocktail glass that size. Huge drinks are a bad bet all around. The last half of the drink is room temperature, and you can't have more than one without having to be poured out the door. A cobbler shaker was produced, and was filled with ice. His hands were all over the ice in the shaker. I was tempted to give him a hell of a tongue-lashing about it, but I was with genteel company. Le sigh. He then continued to show his ineptitude by using the glass for my friend's gin & tonic as the ice scoop. I don't really need to mention this faux pas to the bartender. He'll learn his own lesson on a busy Friday night when he tries to scoop the ice with the glass, and it breaks into the ice. I've had to clean up that mess, and to say it is not pleasant is mild. With the freshly handled ice in the shaker, he then started pouring for a modern sized cocktail, i.e. too big for the small glass. He gave it four shakes. Bartenders, heed me well: Shake the hell out of your drinks! They're supposed to be freezing cold! If you think your hands are stuck to the shaker because it's so cold, you're doing it right. The cocktail was then poured to the brim in my glass, and I watched about a third of the potion go down the sink because there was no more room left in the glass. This was absolutely a crying shame. You made that much booze for me, why is such a significant portion of what should by MY drink going as an offering to Bacchus? The drink itself was, as is almost always the case, too sweet. It tasted less like the heavenly potion it should be, more like limeade. On the bright side, he didn't stub his toe on the cranberry juice like so many bartenders do.

I am tempted to return some time for the food, but after watching the bartender I'm not sure if I can bring myself to do so. If the people making things in the front of the house are either green behind the ears to the point that they should still be doing backbar (or worse, just don't care), I'm not sure I can trust the back of the house to do a significantly better job.

Peoria: A Lee Lee That's New, and Churros, Too!

2009-01-21T11:27:00.006-07:00

Over the last few weeks, I have embarked on the adventure of home ownership. There's so much to do! One of the things I have recently done is upgrade the audio in the living room to a 5.1 surround system. To do this, I ended up going out to Arrowhead Towne Center on the northwest end of town. I decided to go have a little adventure on the way back and take arterial streets instead of hopping on the freeway.

As I ambled down 75th Avenue, I was most pleased find on the southwest corner of 75th Ave and Cactus the second location of Lee Lee Oriental Supermarket. They are already a favorite destination of mine when I'm in Chandler; it's great to know there's a new one just as far from my house in the other direction. That night, the only thing I really needed to stock up on was soy sauce. My favorite brand right now is Lee Kum Kee Double Deluxe, and I was thrilled to see that they carry it in the 500 milliliter bottles for $2.99. If you haven't tried the Double Deluxe, it's a great product. Only five ingredients: Water, salt, soy, sugar, and wheat. The depth of flavor is noticeable compared to, say, Kikkoman. I also picked up some great looking lemons and limes (20 cents each! Take that, Fry's and Safeway!), and nearly bought some flank steak and beef tenderloin for a song ($3-something and $5-something a pound, respectively), but the kitchen here at the new place isn't quite up to having people over for dinner yet.

Once I was done at Lee Lee, I continued south on 75th Avenue. My eyes scanned the horizon in search of new culinary delights in what is considered foodie wasteland by quite a few chowhounds. If things didn't pan out in search of dinner, there was always a decend sandwich to be had Which Wich? at Westgate. I didn't make it that far. There, on the southwest corner of 75th Avenue and Peoria, was a new place called Churro Station. A new eatery that specializes in churros? Count me in!

A scan of the menu told me that this was a pretty simple operation. The two main items are churros, and sandwiches. They do also have ceviche tostadas and smoothies. While I wasn't in the mood for a sandwich, they should be pretty good... the meat is from Boar's Head, the bread is from Simply Bread, how can you go wrong with a combination like that? I had myself a ceviche tostada, a regular churro, and a churro filled with cajeta. Everything was nice. The tostada was quite messy to eat since the tortilla cracked, and the shredded cabbage base tried to keep everything together, but I'd almost certainly order one again. The churros were decent. The batter was lighter and crunchier than the garden-variety frozen churros, but I'd love to see them come fresh out of the fryer instead of from under a heat lamp. All told, it was well worth the six bucks, and if I was in the area again I'd almost certainly stop in for at least a churro.

Now that my appetite had been sated, it was time to head back to the house. I don't know when I'll be back in the Arrowhead area, but at least now I have a good excuse to go that way with the new Lee Lee location up there.

Fiddling With the Test Kitchen

2008-12-17T02:13:00.003-07:00

The current issue of Cook's Illustrated features something they have done in the past: Omelets. I tried out the recipe and whaddya know, it turns out a nearly flawless omelet. While I was making a few for friends, I couldn't help but think that the recipe became too fiddly for its own good.

The big idea this time was that adding little bits of frozen butter to the beaten eggs would slow down cooking and keep the whole thing from browning on the outside (which with this style of omelet is something to avoid). I tried melting down all the butter at the beginning and the end result was exactly the same as with frozen butter. I also found the idea of using 2 whole eggs and one egg white to be just plain silly. I'm never going to use that extra yolk for anything (and the time I need an extra yolk I'm going to forget it's in the freezer), so I tried making the omelet with three whole eggs and it's just fine. The last thing I wondered about is the use of black pepper. When making something such as an omelet where nothing is supposed to get browned, black pepper shows through as little specks, making the diner wonder what you spilled into said omelet.

One thing I would like to work on is tenderness. I know that cold eggs and eggs handled with a heavy hand both contribute to a tougher end product. Will room temperature eggs make the omelet overcook? Will gently pushing the cooked egg with a spatula make for a more tender omelet than one stirred vigorously with chopsticks? If my memory serves me correctly, adding salt toughens the egg proteins too, so that may have to wait until later instead of getting stirred in at the beginning.

I'm currently having problems with excess fat on the plate once the omelet is served. It's entirely possible I'm using too much cheese, but too much butter is the more likely culprit. I'll try weighing the cheese to get a more precise amount than "2 tablespoons shredded cheese"; are you supposed to pack the cheese in or leave it kind of loose?

Anyway, here's the working recipe:

Soon To Be Perfect Cheese Omelet
3 eggs
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt (or 1/8 tsp regular salt)
Pinch white pepper
1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons shredded Gruyère cheese (1 ounce?)

Warm an 8 inch nonstick skillet over low heat for about 10 minutes while preparing ingredients. In a medium bowl, beat eggs, salt, and pepper just until combined. Add butter to skillet, and melt until foam subsides. Swirl butter around sides of pan. Add eggs, and stir with two chopsticks (hold them like you normally do chopsticks), pushing cooked egg toward center of pan until eggs are set on the bottom and still liquid on top. Turn off heat (or remove from burner on an electric stove), sprinkle cheese on top, cover tightly, and let sit for 2 minutes. Remove cover and return to heat for 20 seconds to warm, then fold omelet, turn onto plate, and serve.

Someone heard me...

2008-12-12T13:35:00.002-07:00

Apparently the folks at Cook's Illustrated can read minds. I just got the last issue of my current subscription, and lo and behold, they did a whole bunch of stuff like what I wish they did! There's French omelets (I'm having one now and it's flawless), Swedish meatballs, braised short ribs, chicken noodle soup, French toast... and all of it looks sanely done. I just may work my way through the entire magazine this time.

Thanksgiving Aftermath

2008-11-21T00:50:00.004-07:00

(or, Holy Crap, He Updated the Damn Blog)

First off, your calendar is correct, Thanksgiving is this coming thursday, the 27th. Since I work in the hospitality industry, it's a lot easier for me to move a holiday to a more convenient date than to try and actually get the holiday off. By some miracle I actually have the big day off this year, so I get to do Thanksgiving twice! I'm rather glad I'm not doing the whole shebang twice in a row... For me, Thanksgiving is a three-day cooking marathon. I don't care if there's only six people over, I'm going to make dinner for sixteen. The bird should be big enough to make people worry that it's going to eat them this year. There should be enough sides that you aren't sure where the turkey is supposed to fit on the plate. There should be enough desserts that a diabetic goes into anaphylactic shock five paces from the dessert table. Hey, you have your special holiday traditions, I have mine!

The main event is, of course, the turkey. For the last several years, I did the Morton Thompson Black Turkey, which is quite the exercise in old-fashioned cooking methods. It also requires more attention than my roommate's cat, who only requires about as much attention as a six month old baby. You really need an assistant to pull it off, and I was flying solo. I went back to my old standby of turkey recipes, the one from the November 1995 issue of Martha Stewart Living. I did make one change, and that change is the one that's going to be on everyone's lips next year... dry brine. Brining is a good thing to do to your bird, making a normally dry, tasteless piece of protein come out flavorful and juicy. It's also a major league pain in the ass, requiring either a cooler chest or half the space in your fridge, along with half a box of kosher salt. The dry brine is what Judy Rodgers does to her incredible roast chickens at Zuni Cafe in San Francisco. A couple of days before the chickens get cooked, fresh herbs are slid under the skin, and are rubbed down with salt (about 3/4 teaspoon of salt per pound of bird) and pepper. The birds then rest in the fridge for a couple of days while the salt makes its way into the meat. The drying effect of leaving the bird uncovered also gives you incredibly crisp skin. Martha and Judy worked together brilliantly. The bird was deliciously juicy, and you could almost cut it with the back side of the knife.

Of course, there were tons of sides. Mashed potatoes are de rigueur, and after going with a trusted recipe, I've now broken it down in my mind into a simple formula that can be multiplied to however many people are coming to dinner.

The Jester's Perfect Mashed Potatoes (Per Person)
1/2 pound Yukon Gold potatoes
1-1/2 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons heavy cream
1/4 teaspoon salt

Peel the potatoes, and cut them into 3/4" dice. Rinse them under cool running water for about 30 seconds to get rid of excess starch, then put into a pot and add enough water to cover the potatoes by 1 inch. Bring the water to a boil, then reduce heat to medium and simmer until the potatoes are tender (about half an hour). While the potatoes are cooking, mix the butter and cream together, heat until the butter melts, and keep the mixture warm. When the potatoes are done, drain them well and let them sit for a couple of minutes to let excess moisture evaporate. Run the potatoes through a food mill (or a ricer, or just mash them with a hand masher). Add the dairy mixture and salt, stir well to combine, and serve.

Something new for me this year was the stuffing recipe, from The Nantucket Open House Cookbook by Sarah Leah Chase. If you don't have a copy of this book, run out and get it RIGHT NOW. It's helping me fall in love with cooking all over again after getting out of the Cook's Illustrated mindset of "It Must Be PERFECT". Speaking of Cook's Illustrated, I find lately that their recipes aren't nearly as good as they used to be. Five or six years ago, the reaction I got when making one of their recipes was "Oh my God, this is the best [insert food here] that I've ever had!", and anymore I just don't hear that when I make their recipes. I think it's sort of like New Math, where exotic, complex techniques were much more important than actually getting the right answer. I tried the pumpkin pie recipe from the latest issue and for all of the tweaking (maple syrup I could deal with, but CANNED YAMS?!), it was just a meh pumpkin pie. But more about dessert later.

Now where the hell was I... ah yes, the stuffing! It was the one from the Thanksgiving part of the book, with some minor changes to fit the local palate. It was a sausage stuffing with pecans and brandied apricots, and it was some of the best stuffing I'd ever had. The only things I changed from Chase's original recipe were pecans instead of chestnuts (I don't think AJ's even carries 'em around here, and pecans are very much an Arizona thing), and the use of sage and thyme instead of rosemary (the rosemary in the test batch was like eating pine needles). It's so good that I may very well forget that there's a big turkey to be eaten and just happily nosh on the stuffing for breakfast, lunch and dinner... I may have to stock up on some bubbly, Champagne goes with it extraordinarily well.

Creamed spinach from Cook's Illustrated was an utter dud last year, so this year I went with the home version of the recipe from Lawry's The Prime Rib restaurant up in Vegas. The secret of better creamed spinach was simple: Bacon. This was utterly divine creamed spinach. I'll have to make a special trip to Lawry's the next time I'm up that way so I can have someone else make it for me. Another recipe from Sarah Leah Chase was a sweet potato-pear casserole. It was very delicious, but I think next time I may try cutting the sweet potatoes and pears into smaller pieces, and I'm also tempted to leave the lid off the casserole dish to see if that helps the sauce reduce some. Cranberry sauce was pretty close to the back of the bag, with two twists: Champagne instead of water (I used Freixenet cava, don't tell anyone), and some currants thrown in. I hereby christen it Cranberry Sauce à la Kir Royale, and I think I shall make it a regular part of the Thanksgiving table. Speaking of a regular part of the table, I'm adding pumpkin biscuits (from Sarah Leah Chase again) to the regular repertoire. These were simple to make (and freeze well), and absolutely bursting with pumpkin flavor. I'm strongly tempted next year to do the entire Nantucket Open House Cookbook menu; everything from the book was nothing less than terrific.

There were three desserts to be had. The smash hit winner was pecan pie, made from a Cook's Illustrated recipe from their earlier days. It was easily the best pecan pie I've ever had; rich, caramelized, buttery, nutty... I may have to go sneak a slice here in a moment. Or maybe I'll wait until I can snag some vanilla ice cream to put on the side. The pumpkin pie... was enh. Cook's Illustrated made a whole lot of "improvements" to the recipe, and I think that if I was to taste the new recipe side-by-side with the one on the back of the can, I'd pick the can. There just wasn't much oomph to it. The CI pumpkin cheesecake, however, was very nice, truly one of my standby recipes for something delicious to bring to a dinner party. Now all I need is one of those new auto-scrape beaters for my Kitchenaid so I don't have to scrape the bowl down eight times while mixing the batter.

The one dud this year was Pommes Anna. Don't get me wrong, it was delicious. It just doesn't hold for squat, and making it in advance is really the only way you're going to pull that one off. So next year, I think I'll be going for a casserole type thing. Maybe tater-tot hotdish to please the Midwesterners. I know you're supposed to use the canned cream of chicken soup, but... do I have to?

Sad day for Arizona

2008-11-05T01:27:00.003-07:00

It makes my blood boil that Proposition 102 passed. I thought Arizonans would be smarter than that. Instead, the people of Arizona have now written bigoted discrimination into the state constitution. I guess gay is the new black.

Five-Minute Bread: Broa

2008-10-05T04:52:00.002-07:00

I had been eyeing the recipe for broa, a rustic Portuguese yeast-raised corn bread, in Artisan Baking in Five Minutes a Day for quite some time. Tonight, I baked my first loaf of it. Halfway into mixing the dough, I found out too late that I was about a cup of flour short. I almost ran out to the store for more flour (speaking of which, since when did Wal-Mart start carrying King Arthur all-purpose flour? Whoever is doing the buying for Wal-Mart is being slow but increasingly thorough in wooing my shopping dollars!), but when I was reading up about broa on Wikipedia, I found out that the bread is commonly made with rye flour. I have plenty of rye flour around here, so in went the missing 4.5 ounces of flour as rye instead of all-purpose. The bread turned out very good, one of the best I've made with the five-minute recipes. The flavor is very complex, and the texture looks like it will hold up well for making sandwiches. There isn't as much rise as with the regular boule, and the crumb is pretty tight. I think that because of this, I'll make this one a double loaf at a time on future batches. Next up, I think I'll do the challah, and make some French toast with it.

UFCW Pot Calling Fresh & Easy Kettle Black

2008-09-15T19:23:00.002-07:00

Last week, a new Fresh & Easy location opened up in Tempe on Baseline and Kyrene. Like all of the other F&E locations I've been to, it's a great store. Several days before it opened, a friend who lives down the street from there received a letter in the mail entitled "Fresh & Easy Facts" with "Don't be fooled by Tesco's Fresh & Easy" as a very large tagline. Inside was a list of things that are apparently reasons not to shop at this new grocery store. I was struck by the amount of things they claimed about F&E that I had noticed in several large grocery stores. It turns out that the large grocery stores were behind the letter, courtesy of the United Food and Commercial Workers union! Looks like one of two things is happening: First, F&E isn't going union and of course the union has their panties in a wad. Second, Fresh & Easy is doing very well and the unions don't like the competition from a clearly better product!

Here's the UFCW's reasons why I shouldn't shop there:

First, F&E should have a record of meeting food safety standards. Of COURSE they don't have a record of this, they're brand new! The describing paragraph mentions that Tesco, the parent company of F&E, "has been fined for selling expired and spoiled food". Guess what? Last time I was in Safeway, I almost bought some blue cheese, but then saw that the expiration date had passed by over THREE MONTHS. Eeeeeeew! Every time I've been in F&E, I haven't seen *anything* past the expiration date. In fact, they're some of the best at making sure nothing goes past date. The day something's sell-by date comes up, it gets a bright red sticker mentioning it's half off. If it isn't sold, it gets donated to a food bank. I've noticed they built in quite a bit of leeway with their expiration dates; I've had things accidentally sit in the fridge longer than they should, and they're still fine. Their expiration dates on milk are some of the longest I've seen, meaning that they have much better turnover rates than at regular grocers.

Next up was how F&E must reduce its environmental impact. They're doing more than Safeway and Fry's have, as far as I can tell. F&E is making all of their stores with LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) certification in mind. Several years ago, Safeway made an LEED-oriented building, but hasn't made any strides in making their older buildings over. Safeway has also made a big point that they purchase wind-based power, but Fresh & Easy has done one better and installed solar panels on the roof of their Riverside distribution center. Those solar panels have so far provided 74 percent of the building's operating power! If that isn't reducing one's environmental impact, I don't know what is.

The third paragraph suggests that Fresh & Easy doesn't provide good jobs because they don't pay their American employees as much as their British counterparts. Friends, the British employees make minimum wage over there: £5.52 (currently $9.93) an hour. Fresh & Easy employees start at $10 an hour in California. Yes, that's right, the UFCW LIED about this! There's a word for this: Libel.

The last one is that Fresh & Easy should meet high standards of customer service. I can say from personal experience that they FAR exceed any experience I've had at Safeway or Fry's. The staff at Fresh & Easy is helpful and friendly, while Safeway and Fry's staff are indifferent at best. The letter goes to claim that I should have "check out stands staffed by a checker who scans and bags your groceries". Fresh & Easy has them for people who want them. The only time I've had to bag my own groceries at Fresh & Easy is when I've willingly dismissed them because they needed to help another customer. The last time I was at Fry's (a UFCW store), the only lanes open were the self-checkout lanes, and the checkers didn't offer me ANY help at all, just a cursory, barely mumbled "good night" on my way out the door.

Shame on you, UFCW, for not fixing your own problems before pointing out others' percieved faults! Because of this union bullying, I hereby refuse to shop at the union-run Safeway, Fry's, and Albertson's stores of the greater Phoenix area until they can practice what they preach. Fresh & Easy has better quality food, greener stores with natural light streaming in, and some of the friendliest grocery staff in town. And their prices are WAY better too.

More Five-Minute Artisan Bread

2008-08-24T22:49:00.003-07:00

The mania over freshly baked bread has slowed to the point that I have some dough still in the bucket coming close to the two-week mark. It really does improve over time! The later loaves have a nicer chew to them, and a much improved sourdough type flavor. Since I just baked off the last loaf of a batch, I started two more batches: One is a full size batch of the European Peasant Bread, which replaces some of the flour in the regular loaf with rye and whole wheat flours. The other is the Brioche, which both the roomie and myself are greatly looking forward to trying.

Quick Review: Culver's, Mesa AZ

2008-08-24T05:09:00.003-07:00

After hearing much ballyhooing from homesick Midwesterners, I went to the fairly new Culver's over on Country Club just south of US-60 for the first time earlier this summer. The dining room doors were locked 10 minutes before posted closing time the first time I went, leaving me just the drive-thru. I know that Mesa and Gilbert practically roll up the sidewalks at 9 PM, but come on, if you're going to say on the door that you're open til 10, STAY OPEN TIL 10! It was certainly not the best first impression. At least the girl at the drive-through was perky. Burger was... salty. Onion rings were OK. Root beer float had not nearly enough root beer for the ice cream, er, I mean frozen custard. Fast forward to tonight. I got a patty melt and cheese curds. The patty melt was one note: Bland. No, wait, two notes, it was greasy as hell too. The bread used was allegedly rye, but didn't taste much like rye and the caraway seeds were just there for looks. The cheese curds tasted more of salty breading than cheese. Neither was worth the calories. A return trip is highly doubtful at this point, especially with In-N-Out and Chick-Fil-A two exits down the road.

2008-08-18T04:26:00.009-07:00

One of those things about living in the Phoenix area is dead obvious to anyone who lives here: It's damned hot in the summer. Sometimes, you just have to get out of town. Las Vegas has awfully tempting hotel rates, but there had best be a great pool where you stay since it's going to be just as hot. San Diego has tons going on, but with gas prices where they are, one gives pause to travelling there during their peak hotel season. Northern Arizona looks more and more tempting, doesn't it? I've had friends and family up in Prescott for all my life, so when someone from up there called to catch up on things, I jumped at the chance to pay them a spontaneous visit. Two hours later, I found myself up there under a blanket of stars, with lightning flashing further north on the rim.

Something I have noticed about Prescott is that while it's still a sleepy little town, the quality of restaurants up there has dramatically improved in recent years. Case in point is Esoji, a relatively new restaurant on Gurley just a stone's throw west of Whiskey Row. I never would have guessed that one of the best Japanese restaurants in the state would open its doors in such a picture-perfect slice of small-town Americana as downtown Prescott.

My friend J (no relation to Seth Chadwick's J., congratulations to you both on the wedding!), his wife Keely, and their kid Kidlet had a great time catching up on things as we strolled around the square under the blazing hot 85 degree sun. As we approached Whiskey Row, we all noticed it was about time for lunch. We were all disgusted by the presence of a Quizno's franchise at the south end of Whiskey Row (It's great when a downtown area is completely dominated by independently owned shops and eateries like Prescott!). We nearly stopped at a new hole-in-the-wall Mexican place on Whiskey Row called Annalina's, but in the end Esoji won out for getting a visit this time. Annalina's looked like it would be a promising little place, so I'm looking forward to giving them a try the next time I'm up there.

When we entered Esoji, we were given the standard table-or-booth choice. We were a bit torn; booths always have a more intimate feel, but with Kidlet along and his need for a high chair, it would be a lot easier to sit at a table. The hostess quickly offered a banquette at the end of the row of booths, and it turned out to be a great idea. For some reason, the inside edge of the booth side of the banquette was considerably more firm than the rest of it, leaving yours truly sitting off-kilter.

We perused the menu, and went with relatively basic choices. Keely hadn't been to a Japanese restaurant before (J is working on opening her up from her once sheltered life diet), and went with teriyaki chicken donburi. J and I both selected the bento ($13.50), a combination of grilled meat, shrimp and veggie tempura, vegetables, California or spicy salmon roll, miso soup, and green salad. I went with teriyaki salmon, J had the teriyaki chicken, and we both had the California roll. If I was thinking about it, I would have selected the spicy salmon so we could have some of each. I'll have to do that next time. J is allergic to shellfish, so I offered to eat his shrimp tempura, but alas having the crustaceans touching something else on the plate would set him off, so he requested no shrimp tempura.

The waitress went off to place the order, and a few minutes later arrived with my and J's green salads. An added surprise was a little teddy bear face made out of sushi rice and veggie bits for Kidlet! Kidlet couldn't enjoy it as much as the itamae hoped since Kidlet isn't quite up to solid food yet, but it was still a very welcome touch. The salad was unusually good; there was some traditional iceberg for crispness, mixed in with spring mix for complexity. The dressing was an eye opener, definitely not your usual Japanese ginger dressing that I swear doesn't change no matter where you are. It was vibrant and citrusy, with ginger, a little soy, and goodness knows what else. You could tell that they made it there. You could also tell they were very proud of it since they sold it by the bottle. Miso soup was executed just as it should, with flavorful broth and a couple of small bits of seaweed and tofu.

A short while later, our entrees arrived. As you can see in the pictures, they were nearly works of art. Colors played off of each other beautifully well, shapes were attractive, and everything just looked well thought out. The teriyaki sauce was definitely not the sticky sweet bottled glop used at so many places, and was applied with a modest hand. It truly complemented the meat instead of taking center stage. Vegetables were all cooked to a perfect degree of doneness whether sauteed or tempura. Speaking of the tempura, I have never had a tempura this incredibly light. My shrimp was tender, juicy, and tasted like... shrimp. We have some wizards of the deep fryer where I work, but they don't hold a candle to the person manning it at Esoji. Since J passed on the shrimp, he instead received tempura sweet potato slices, and they were so good that he didn't miss the shrimp one bit. A small nest of noodles were dressed in a light sauce that took me by surprise. I had a feeling they would be a little spicy since you could see flecks of togarashi, but there was also a contrasting sweetness with a hint of tart that I'm pretty sure was provided by a splash of citrus. The California roll was a good California roll; nothing to write home about, but even the best California rolls play second fiddle to pretty much every other kind of sushi out there. The sushi rice was perfectly balanced; not too much rice vinegar, nor too little.

I had already planned to stop by the crêperie on Gurley for dessert, but that plan was dashed when our waitress mentioned green tea crème brûlée. It came attractively presented, along with a surprise of a miniature scoop of green tea ice cream, presumably for Kidlet. We were all enthralled with the crème brûlée. I thought that the crust could have been thicker (I like mine to crack when hit with a spoon, this one didn't), and I would have appreciated it if the sugar on top had been melted by blowtorch instead of broiler; the custard part had started to cook more than it should from the broiling. Still, it was delicious and creamy, and the green tea paired well with the creaminess of the custard.

The total bill for three lunches and one dessert came to just over $56. This is pretty pricey by Prescott standards, but very well worth it. Esoji is head and shoulders above any other Asian food I've had in northern Arizona, and is easily in the top tier of Japanese restaurants in all of Arizona. Indeed, Esoji may well be the best traditional Japanese restaurant in the state.

Mmmmmm

2008-08-12T23:20:00.001-07:00

Croque Monsieurs made with the master recipe bread from Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day absolutely ROCK.

Love Great Bread? Of Course! Get This!

2008-08-07T22:27:00.002-07:00

I love making homemade bread. So much of the whole process just connects on a deep level. It feels great, from the smell of the yeast getting started, to the feel of kneading dough, to the incomparable sensation of biting into a slice of bread still barely warm from the oven. However, for something that is so simple (just flour, water, salt, and yeast), fresh home-made bread is an absolute pain in the ass to make. Even though you don't have to proof the yeast (thanks to quick-rise yeasts) and knead the dough for 15 minutes (thanks to the trusty Kitchenaid on the counter), the dough takes quite a bit of babysitting, and somehow the entire kitchen ends up covered in flour.

In November of 2006, cookbook author Mark Bittman released a recipe for something new called No-Knead Bread. In normal bread, kneading is what develops gluten, which gives the bread its structure. In No-Knead Bread, kneading is replaced by a very wet dough (87 percent of the flour's weight in water; a traditional recipe is closer to 55 percent) and a very long rest (at least 18 hours in the fridge). There is an Achilles's heel to the No-Knead Bread, and that is that you have to start the bread 18 to 24 hours before you actually want the bread. What's a bread lover to do?

Enter Dr. Jeff Hertzberg and Zoë François¹, authors of the new book Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. He's a bread-loving physician, she's a CIA²-trained baker and pastry chef. Boy, that sounds like a movie waiting to happen, doesn't it? They realized that a wet dough not only doesn't require kneading, but also keeps for a good long time in the refrigerator... up to two weeks. Now all you have to do is mix up the dough, let it rise, and then toss it in the fridge. When you're ready for bread, you just shape the loaf, let it rise, and put it in the oven. That's it. The only part of your kitchen that gets dirty is a spoon to mix the ingredients.

The bread is wonderful stuff... nice crumb, crackling crust, and great flavor. Apparently, the longer you let it sit in the fridge the more complex it tastes. I'm looking forward to finding out, but I don't know that I have the willpower to let the bread dough just sit for that long!

1) Just have to say I love how easy it is to do accented characters on a Mac... option-c gets you the ç, where on Windows it was Alt-some four digit number.
2) Culinary Institute of America.

I Call It Spaghetti alla Fata Verde

2008-08-06T00:54:00.003-07:00

I had some friends over for dinner tonight. I was in the mood for spaghetti and meatballs. I started out with the Cook's Illustrated recipe, and CHANGED IT! Yes, Christopher Kimball, I didn't feel like buying ground pork, so I made meatballs with (gasp) all BEEF. They were better that way. And since I didn't have basic white sandwich bread, I used sourdough. Then, I thought that their Quick Tomato Sauce could use a flavor boost. I remembered my favorite thing to add... red wine. Nice meaty Cabernet, to be exact. Then, that got me thinking about what else I could add to give it a twist. I remembered the nice new bottle of absinthe sitting on my extensive bar shelf. Italian sausage often has lots of fennel in it, which gives a bit of a licorice-y flavor. Absinthe has similar notes to it. So, in went a little splash into my tasting bowl along with a little of the sauce, and... magic. The two went together splendidly. I added a couple of ounces of the infamous spirit, and everyone was thrilled. Try it the next time you make spaghetti sauce. I'd give you my recipe, but I already know you have your favorite and not much is going to sway you from it.

Review: Haru Sushi, Tempe AZ

2008-07-18T01:17:00.004-07:00

love the concept of kaitenzushi, conveyor belt sushi restuarants. At first it looks like a regular sushi bar, but there's a little belt that goes all the way around the bar area, with little plates of all different colors moving up and down the line. To start eating, you take a seat, and if something looks good, you snag it off the belt. It ends up feeling a lot more casual and social this way, and something about pulling the food off the belt before it moves too far away is mildly interesting to the normally latent hunter-gatherer part of my brain. Admittedly, this is about as close as I'm going to get to catching food while it's moving, but it amuses me nonetheless. The first place to do conveyor belt sushi in town is Sushi Eye In Motion, over in the historic district of downtown Chandler. I've been going there whenever I can practically since they've opened, which isn't nearly as often as I'd like since I live 45 minutes away. Now, there's a newcomer to the field: Haru Sushi, on the northeast corner of Priest and Ray in Tempe, not too far east of I-10. Naturally, comparisons between the two abound.

The room has two separate areas. The sushi bar has three sides, with two sides dedicated to standard counter style sushi bar seating, and the third with booths so that groups can still sit at the sushi bar. These booths do have access to the conveyor belt. I think this touch is a very nice one, and I would love to see more places in town have seating like this available. There are about six more booths available, but service at these is only from the waitress. The decoration of Haru is noticeably less trendy and hip than that of In Motion, but colors and light are bright and cheery, they made a good effort to make the place look nice with various Japanese things stuck to the wall, and you can play one of my favorite restaurant games, "Spot The Stuff That Came From IKEA". This is one of the few places I've seen that pulled off having a warehouse-style ceiling. They did it by dividing the vertical space twice over; the top third of the room vanished with a matte black paint job, and the rest of the cavernous space was bisected by enormous wicker-shaded pendant lamps. I would imagine that volume levels would be acceptable even during very busy times, as the booth seating area does have a dropped ceiling (did someone just snag both spaces in the strip mall and knock down the wall?), and I do have two quibbles over the decor; one is the flat screen TVs on opposing walls (one was tuned to Telemundo, the other to ESPN), and the other is that the radio was tuned to hip-hop station 104.7 FM. I found that hip-hop and sushi really don't go together all that well; I would have much preferred peace and quiet like one can find over at Sushi Ken.

Places are set with a fast-food issue paper napkin, and good quality wood chopsticks. We naturally took a seat at the sushi bar, and ordered hot tea ($1) and ice water. Moments later, the tea came, along with the requisite soy sauce boats (with the dollops of wasabi in them) and a big plate of pickled ginger. With equipment in hand, we dove in. I like the style they do for their conveyor belt. There is a small place marker with the name of a type of sushi, and that type of sushi follows it. This is good for someone who isn't familiar with various things; you don't really need it to tell you that shrimp is shrimp, but on the complex rolls so popular stateside (such as Las Vegas rolls, which are about six different things rolled and then fried in tempura batter), it's nice to know what they are so you can get them again if you want. It's a different system than at In Motion, where everything is scattered all over the place so you don't have to wait for one specific thing to come back around if you decide too late to grab it, but if you're curious about something you have to ask the staff what it is. At Haru, they also have a selection of other things going up and down the little catwalk, including gyoza (I promise I'll try them next time), Ramune sodas (a popular brand of soda in Japan that comes in a glass bottle sealed by a marble; if you haven't tried one, it's worth doing at least once), little pre-packaged fruit cups for the kiddies, and a couple of sweets. If there's something that you would like to try that isn't on the belt, you can always ask the itamae (sushi chef) to make something from their (very short) menu for you.

The sushi itself was merely OK. The selection was all pretty standard, not much of anything truly exotic, but it covered the bases of nigiri, hand rolls, and maki rolls. It was leagues better than what I've had at Ra and Stingray, but that's not really saying much. The rice had a proper amount of rice vinegar added to it. The fish was a step below what I'm used to at In Motion (Such deep red tuna! Such vivid orange salmon!) but was certainly acceptable; nothing showed any signs of being old. The servers were friendly and willing to help, but that was only when you could find one. For the most part, you don't really need anybody around, but beverage glasses did sit for quite a while unfilled. It looked like we came in at the tail end of a rush when there were only two servers on the floor (most of the seats at the sushi bar were empty with plates stacked up in front of them when we came in), so I should likely hold back on saying anything firm about the service until I've been back.

Thankfully, they don't charge nearly as much as In Motion. Plates range from $1.25 for simple things (such as tamago or avocado roll), up to $3.25 for the fancy rolls (Rainbow, Las Vegas, Caterpillar, et cetera). It's easy to tell the price on something by the color of the plate; white plates are the least expensive, black plates are the most expensive, with other colors coming somewhere in between. It seemed like most of the plates that were going around were either the mid-range green (this was most of the nigiri, I believe it was $1.75 for two pieces) or black plates. My friend and I both ate quite well; we had about a dozen plates stacked up, and the bill came to about $37 including the tea. For a similar amount at In Motion, the bill would likely have been close to twice that.

As for which one is better overall... Sushi Eye In Motion wins that hands-down. It's better across the board: The sushi is higher quality, the sushi chefs are more creative and know what they're doing with a knife better, the atmosphere is more fun, and the service is much more accommodating, making you feel like you've known them for ages from your first visit. However, Haru Sushi is still competent sushi, and their bargain price point makes them very hard to resist. As far as value goes... I feel that both Haru and In Motion are a very good value. Which one I end up going to in the future is going to be flat-out determined by how much money I have in my wallet when I get a craving for sushi. Since it's the slow summer season for this bartender... I'm going to miss my friends at Sushi Eye In Motion for a little while.

Late Night Cooking: The 65° Egg

2008-06-11T03:26:00.003-07:00

I just got done with the night's Wii Fit. It's a terrific game, and wildly succeeds in its mission to get my tush off the couch and moving more. Go get a copy if you can find it.

But anyway, this blog is about my culinary adventures, so on with those.

When I was reading through Lynne Rosetto Kasper's excellent new book How To Eat Supper, I saw mention of a little bit of molecular gastronomy from Hervé This that one could easily do at home: The 65° egg. You see, proteins in eggs set at different temperatures, starting at 142 degrees Fahrenheit. So, if you cook an egg at a low enough temperature, say around 65° Celsius (149° Fahrenheit), you can get the white to softly set, and the yolk to be still soft. As a bonus, you can cook the eggs as long as you want, even overnight. So, tonight, I've decided to try the 65° egg. Before I started up the Wii tonight, I set my oven to right around 150 degrees, and rather unceremoniously placed some eggs in there to cook. This was about an hour and a half ago. Now that I'm getting hungry, I'd say it's about time to get them out of there. I just fixed up some toast to go along with them (Archer Farms whole wheat from Target, good stuff). The eggs are a bit tricky to get out of the shell; they're set, but very soft and quivering. I have to dig around the inside with a spoon to get the whole thing out in one piece. It looks pretty much like any other hard boiled egg.

Now, for a taste.

*munchmunch*

Mmm. These eggs are good. I think the oven has a cool spot near the front, as the yolk is set firmer than the recipes I've seen suggest. Still, the yolk is tender, and the whites are ever so softly set. I'll definitely be making these again.

Went to Sprinkles today

2008-06-04T02:39:00.003-07:00

One of these days I'll write another real article, I swear.

One of the managerial folk at work had his last day today, so I couldn't resist springing a mess of cupcakes from Sprinkles on the whole gang. I figured it would be a good excuse to try out the cupcakes that chowhounds all over town have been swooning over. The setup in the store is simple. Behind a wall of glass are wooden cupcake racks holding the day's 11 flavors of the 21 that they make throughout the week. To the right of that is the counter where you place your order, and to the far right is the cash register hiding behind wood paneling. On the side wall is a selection of retail items, including DIY cupcake mix ($14 for enough to make a dozen) and T-shirts ($25 to $40, ouch!) Six flavors are made all week long, and the rest have a regular rotation, always appearing the same days every week. So far, I have tried the Cinnamon Sugar, Red Velvet, and Peanut Butter Chip, and can say that these are some of the best retail cupcakes around. Their Red Velvet borders on legendary. They're very moist cupcakes, almost *too* moist: After a couple of hours in the box, the fat in the cupcakes managed to soak through not only the wax paper cupcake liner, but also the waxed paper lining the box, and the cardboard box itself. I'm starting to think that their recipe starts with lots of butter, adds just enough sugar to make it sweet, and then only adds enough flour to keep everything held together through the oven. A few minutes after eating one, I feel sort of like I just ate a stick of butter.

Alas, Sprinkles falls squarely into the same trap as gourmet peanut butter sandwich purveyor PB Loco: The price is absolutely ridiculous. It's $3.25 for *one* cupcake. If you get a whole dozen, they have the decency to drop the price to $36, only $3 each! If it was, say, $2.50, you would likely find me there two or three times weekly. At their prices, once a month tops. I'll leave Sprinkles to the chichi Scottsdale Desperate Housewives crowd with their bleached blonde hair and oversized sunglasses with white plastic rims, and just make my own cupcakes at home.

munchmunchmunch

2008-04-27T04:50:00.002-07:00

The mint crispy M&Ms that they're doing as a promo for the new Indiana Jones movie utterly RULE. Imagine the deliciousness that is the Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint, but in teeny form with a crunchy candy shell. Go forth and enjoy. And while you're at it, beg M&M/Mars to put these on full-time production.

Oh, in the works for articles and reviews:

A road trip to Prescott

Dining with the Chowhounds in downtown Scottsdale

Urban Campfire: Yay, it's still there!

2008-03-27T14:47:00.003-07:00

A couple of days ago, the Arizona Republic's Howard Seftel ran a story that both the Scottsdale eatery Twisted and one of my personal favorites, Urban Campfire down in Tempe, were both a couple of higher profile restaurants to recently bite the dust. While it is true that Twisted is no more, Urban Campfire is still going strong. I went recently and everything is as delicious as ever. Nearsighted people will be happy that they don't have to crane their neck to see the menu written on the wall, as they have now changed over to printed menus. The yam planks are being cut thinner now, definitely into the realm of chips rather than the chip/fry hybrid that I enjoyed, but still extremely delicious. They're also baking all of their own breads on-site now. While the breads tend to be dominated by anything that goes on them (it's barbecue, what did you expect?), they still hold up a lot better than anything store-bought ever would.

So... if you haven't been there, GO. It's still the same terrific value it was when they first opened.

A Short Treatise on the Perfect Hamburger

2008-03-24T14:19:00.004-07:00

I recently was going through articles on a food site when I came across a video describing what the editors of the site considered the "perfect hamburger". In the video, I saw a number of things done to the burger that I considered to be complete atrocities. This is my response to their video.

The perfect burger starts with ground chuck. It has enough fat in it that it's not dry when it comes off the grill, but not so much fat that the burger is greasy. It's best if you grind it yourself. you can do this in a food processor with minimal fuss. The burger should be cooked over a searing hot flame, no further than medium unless you enjoy eating hockey pucks. It should only be turned once, and never, ever pressed. The only thing that pressing will accomplish is drying out the burger. If you choose to add cheese, it should go on the burger before the burger itself is finished cooking so it has time to melt without giving the meat a chance to overcook. The cheese should have a personality of its own; American, Colby, and Monterey Jack all melt nicely but are quite bland. Better to go with sharp Cheddar, Swiss, or even crumbles of your favorite blue cheese.

The bun must not be an afterthought. The ones in the bread aisle at the supermarket are almost always flavorless, waifish things that can't hold their own once loaded down with toppings. Find yourself a good bakery and buy their hamburger buns. They should have some flavor of their own, and be big enough to hold up through the entire burger without collapsing, but not so big that all you taste is the bread. Toasting the buns is mandatory. Buttering the buns before toasting is highly recommended.

Toppings are up to you. Some people prefer the clean, minimalist lines of only burger and bun. Daniel Boulud lavishly tops the signature burger at his restaurant with braised short ribs, foie gras, and black truffles. I believe that a burger should come with a standard set of green leaf lettuce, ripe tomato, sliced red onion, and slices of pickle unless such things are not complementary to other special toppings. A dollop of a spreadable condiment is always welcome even on the simplest burger creation. Mustard, mayonnaise, or ketchup are all classic standards. More inventive creations may include Thousand Island dressing (or for that matter, any creamy salad dressing, blue cheese is especially wonderful), homemade aïoli, a red wine pan sauce if you happened to pan-sear the burgers... Really, anything in the kitchen that's savory and spreadable. From there, the sky is the limit for toppings. Bacon is ubiquitous; the excellent bacon from Niman Ranch can elevate an otherwise normal burger to ethereal status. One of my favorite toppings that is often overlooked is a fried egg. Any manner of roasted vegetables do well on burgers too. Look over the topping list at fancy burger joints, such as Burger Bar in Las Vegas, for some terrific ideas. Don't limit yourself to just those lists; if you think it sounds like it's going to be good on a burger, it almost certainly is going to be delicious.

Review: Chill, Tempe AZ

2008-03-13T04:17:00.003-07:00

If you've been reading the blog for a while now, you might remember my recent trip to Las Vegas, where I got the chance to try frozen yogurt from Red Mango, the company responsible for starting the renaissance in frozen yogurt. Gone are the variety of sweet flavors, replaced by just two flavors: Regular yogurt, and yogurt with green tea added to it. The regular yogurt isn't nearly as sweet as the frozen yogurt that you're used to, and it has a bit more twang to it, a bit like the popular Greek style yogurts that grace the dairy case at Trader Joe's. Think of this new frozen yogurt as... yogurt flavored frozen yogurt. There are a couple of places up in north Scottsdale that have offered this treat for a little while, chief among them Ice Tango just off the 101 at Frank Lloyd Wright. I've been meaning to get up there and try it, but that part of town just isn't on my regular rotation. Somehow driving half an hour just for frozen yogurt seems kind of silly, but planning a trip to Vegas with getting my hands on more Red Mango in mind is easily justifiable. While I am planning on heading up to Vegas again soon, I was very happy to hear that a new fro-yo place just opened in Tempe, and they even offer gelato.

The new place is Chill, located in the same strip mall that houses Pita Jungle on Apache in between Rural and McClintock in Tempe, a veritable stone's throw from campus. The interior certainly takes its cues from the industry big shots, with warm colors and modern looking furnishings. The frozen yogurt machine has the regular yogurt, plus something I haven't seen anywhere else: Non-dairy frozen soymilk. Vegans, rejoice! The yogurt can be topped with a variety of fresh fruits sliced up in-house and small candies such as chocolate chips. Something you might want to try for a topping is mochi, a Japanese treat made of glutinous rice pounded into cakes. It has a chewy texture and a lightly sweet flavor that pairs nicely with the smooth tanginess of the yogurt. The gelato at first bite is better than average. I'm happy that I didn't see any way out of season flavors that indicate the use of canned bases instead of real fruit (Gelato Spot, I'm looking at you), but I'll have to try more of the gelato before I can say for sure whether it's truly top-notch stuff. However, the sheer deliciousness of the frozen yogurt may keep that from ever happening. Stay tuned to find out ;-)

Review: My Big Fat Greek Restaurant, Scottsdale AZ

2008-02-19T10:26:00.004-07:00

Something I recently noticed is that absolutely *nobody* on the Chowhound message board makes much mention of the local chain My Big Fat Greek Restaurant. Maybe it's the cheesy name, maybe it's that they have enough locations around town to look like they've already gone national, maybe it's that they use sigmas in their signage so that the name actually reads "My Big Fat Grssk Restaurant". Who knows. All I knew was that I was getting hungry, and a couple of friends had just invited me along for the trip. Who was I to refuse good company?

The decor of the restaurant is generic, with standard-issue laminate topped tables, silverware rolled in Aegean blue napkins (have I mentioned how much I despise rolled silver? I'm coming to your restaurant to have you do the work, SET THE TABLE!) and a mural of a Greek village along one wall. Don't look at the mural too long, you'll realize the artist had no idea how to do perspective drawing. Or maybe they wanted to get the picture from lots of different viewpoints at once. But I digress, this is about the food, not the art on the walls. Perusing the menu, I noticed they had a decent number of classic Greek dishes such as spanakopita, moussaka, bacon cheeseburgers, BBQ chicken pizza, and fish & chips. I'm used to seeing one or two out-of-left-field American items at ethnic restaurants to appease the poor fool who doesn't like eating interesting food but got dragged along anyway, but when well over a dozen items on the menu are American, it's time to start thinking about changing the name of the restaurant. I also noticed a number of typos peppered about the menu, including a drink "fit for the GOD'S" (their capital lettering, not mine) and an "Agaen" wrap that I'm pretty sure was supposed to be Aegean, but instead was a clear lack of attention to detail all over Agaen.

We got things started off with a bunch of appetizers. The first to arrive were dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) and fried calamari. The calamari was one of the better ones I've had. The meat was for once succulent and tender, and the breading was light enough that it didn't overshadow the calamari. The dolmades left something to be desired. Four tiny dolmades came on the plate (they were the size of nigiri sushi, to give you a frame of reference) and were quickly devoured, mostly because there wasn't all that much on the plate. These were... bland. You could tell there was seasoning in there, but apparently downtown Scottsdalians are either frightened by proper levels of seasoning, or haven't realized yet that eating garlic on a date is taboo only if done by one person. A moment later, the waiter arrives with our saganaki (kefalograviera cheese flamed tableside). An "Opa!" from the staff and a quite impressive fireball later, we dug in. This is one of those dishes that no matter what you do to it, it's exactly what you expect. It's cheese, they set it on fire, what more could you ask?

We were almost done with the appetizers when out from the kitchen come our Greek salads. We move our appetizer plates over to the side, and see in front of us a plate of Romaine lettuce topped with chopped tomato, feta, and green bell peppers. The lettuce was glistening from the dressing, but the dressing just didn't taste like anything. I searched the dish high and low for some kind of flavor at all, and all I got was a little sweet from the tomatoes and bite of the peppers. The feta and dressing just sort of snuck around hoping that they wouldn't get noticed.

After a short wait which would have been unnoticeable had the waitstaff not rushed our salads out of the kitchen, our main courses arrived. It would have been nice if the waitstaff had thought to clear the appetizer and salad plates before the mains came. With their full hands, they ran into quite the traffic jam as we moved our first course plates off to adjacent empty tables so they could put our main course down. My choice tonight was the Aegean Spaghetti, pasta with olive oil, garlic and a blend of mizithra, feta, and parmesan cheeses. As far as pasta dishes go, this one was a disappointment. The spaghetti was overcooked, the feta melted into a congealed blob at the bottom of the dish, and again everything was just bland, bland, bland. There should have been the nuttiness of the mizithra, the sharp tang of the feta, but instead it might as well have been just noodles in olive oil. I've had better versions of this dish at Old Spaghetti Factory, seriously. It isn't that hard of a dish to make. Everyone seemed halfway pleased with their dishes, but there certainly wasn't any rampant enthusiasm for any of the dishes on the table.

The dinner for four came out to about $96. For what we got, it seemed like it was right where it should be. However, there are much better choices for Greek food in town, namely just about any mom-n-pop joint you can think of. My Big Fat Grssk, er, I mean, Greek Restaurant just glides along in its mediocrity, refusing to pay attention to the small details that would make it great, almost proud to be as dull and mainstream as any other chain restaurant out there.

Also while in Vegas: Red Mango

2008-01-27T05:10:00.001-07:00

UPDATE: I just found out that the Las Vegas location has closed. If you're up in Vegas, there's one over in Henderson on Eastern just south of the 215.

I almost can't believe I'm writing up a frozen yogurt place. I've been eating frozen yogurt for decades now, and for the most part it really doesn't deviate from a pretty basic standard no matter where you are. Some places (like Mesa Frozen Yogurt over on Gilbert and Southern in Mesa AZ) become noteworthy by an extensive list of flavors, but in the end... it's just frozen yogurt.

Until I went to Red Mango in Las Vegas, off the strip across the street from the Hard Rock Hotel.

Red Mango is the first of a new wave of frozen yogurt places. The most well-known of these is Pinkberry, a chain that is all the rage in southern California. The Pink may be the most well-known, but they got their idea from Red Mango. This yogurt is different from other frozen yogurts you've had. It's not as sweet, and there's a good hit of tanginess that makes it taste more like, well, yogurt. Red Mango only has two flavors: a plain Original, and the same laced with matcha green tea (a $1 upcharge regardless of size). They offer a variety of fruit and not-too-sugary sweet things (including breakfast cereals like Cap'n Crunch) to top the yogurt. And that's it. Perfectly simple. And oh, so delicious. My friend and I both found it to be a perfect pit-stop from excessive running amuck on the Strip; a couple of bites and we both went from worn out to ready for more action. Better still, as far as frozen desserts go this stuff is darn near virtuous, with just 90 wee calories in a half-cup small. For comparison's sake, 90 calories of Ben & Jerry's is a hair over three tablespoons. And Red Mango's yogurt is somehow every bit as satisfying.

I'll be damned if this isn't the best frozen yogurt I've had anywhere. It's quite possibly the best frozen dessert I've ever eaten. I love my Lombardo's Gelato down here in Phoenix, but all the gelato I've had doesn't come close to the deliciousness that is Red Mango yogurt. We're talking not so much "Wow, this is good, how much is another cup?", we're talking "Wow, this is good, how much are the franchise rights?" I can hardly wait for one to open down here in Phoenix. Until then, I hope a craving doesn't strike, otherwise I'll find myself in Vegas practically before I can blink.

Ah yes, back at the Peppermill...

2008-01-17T07:22:00.001-07:00

If there was ever a reason for me to move to Las Vegas, I think that this:

would be it. This is the Fresh Fruit served up at the Peppermill on the Las Vegas Strip. Of all the amazing places up and down the strip, this is absolutely THE place that I must visit. Most places have a place that they have to hit the moment they get back from vacation, I have a place that I have to hit the moment I arrive at my destination. The Fresh Fruit is a ridiculously huge pile of fruit, with nine different kinds of fruit all piled up in a fashion that reminds diners of Carmen Miranda's hat. It is accompanied by a small loaf of banana bread, and a choice of ice cream, rainbow sherbet, or cottage cheese. As fun as it is to get rainbow sherbet with a breakfast item, I'd have to say to get the cottage cheese unless you're ordering this as a side to split between four people. With the ice cream or sherbet, it's just all sweet and your palate suffers from overload.

We ended up back at the Peppermill after a rough night for me at the Flamingo (I really want to know how on earth their engineering department thought it would be a good idea to leave the room completely devoid of functional reading lights!), slurping down a Scorpion (completely different from the Trader Vic's recipe but still darn tasty) and nibbling an appetizer platter in their iconic Fireside Lounge. I've now decided that not only am I replicating a Peppermill booth in my dining room, I'm making a flaming fountain like the Peppermill one in my backyard. I just love everything about the Peppermill. It's not the best food you'll find on the strip, there are literally scores of places that offer up better food. The Peppermill is just a simple little coffee shop done right, by people who care about what they serve up. I sort of wish that there was a Peppermill around here somewhere, but then it might not have quite the same special cachet of the Las Vegas one.

Review: Ranch House Grille, Phoenix AZ

2008-01-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

The recent buzz on the Chowhound board has been about a new breakfast place in the Arcadia district called Overeasy. I was all set to go and try it this morning... and whoever told me that they open at 6 AM is a dirty stinker. We got there a little after 6 and saw that the chairs were still up on the tables. My roommate and I were a little downtrodden, until he remembered that Ranch House Grille was definitely open.

I was looking over the menu, trying to figure out what to try this time, when I remembered the words of the great Seth Chadwick the last time we spoke. Those words were to get the green chili covered chicken fried steak. I'm already a fan of Ranch House's CFS; it's seriously one of the best in town. Little did I know, with their pork green chili stew instead of gravy, it's even better. The cooks turn out a damn fine green chili, with a nice blend of spice and herbaceousness, and it complements the chicken fried steak incredibly well. I got pancakes instead of toast, and was certainly pleased with them. My roommate decided to get biscuits and gravy with his meal, and as we chatted with the waitress I found out that the cooks changed up the biscuit recipe so they weren't the dry mammoth clunkers they were serving before. This is a good thing; something about those biscuits seemed like they were made somewhere else and trucked in. The new biscuits... still need work. They need to bring in a Southern grandma to show the proper light touch with biscuits. These ones were a little tough, but they were still a minor improvement over the previous biscuits.

I'm finding more and more that Ranch House is one of my favorite regular stops for breakfast. The food is excellent and hearty, the cooks know how to cook an over easy egg (really, I'm amazed at the hit-to-miss ratio on something that they'd have to do dozens of times daily), the waitress is down-home and friendly, the prices are right, and it just has that right feel that makes you want to come back time and time again.

Now to wait until 6:30 next time so I can at least try Overeasy next time.

First Visit: Fresh & Easy, Mesa AZ

2007-12-06T10:46:00.001-07:00

I just went to Fresh and Easy and I would say I like it quite a bit. It is indeed bigger than a Trader Joe's by a good margin; the one I visited was formerly a Walgreens-type drugstore. The one I went to was over on Alma School and University. They showed a definite slant toward the predominantly Hispanic population in that neighborhood, with things like bolillo rolls, tres leches cake, and pig trotters (that last one with a primarily Spanish bilingual label). The British influence of Tesco is subtle, mainly through the tea being MUCH more prominent at the sample station than the coffee, a glut of Indian items in the heat-and-eat fridge and freezer cases, and a small handful of quintessentially British items scattered about, including Stilton cheese, back bacon, and shortbread. So you get an idea of prices, here's what I got:

10 oz Mint creme sandwich cookies, 1.99
12 oz Fig bars, 1.99
5 oz Jalapeño Cheddar potato chips, 1.19
10 oz Cheddar cheese crackers, 1.69
1 pound frozen edamame, 1.39
24 oz Frozen mac & cheese, 2.99
24 oz frozen Beef Bourguignonne dinner with veggies and mashed potatoes, 4.99
8 inch frozen pepperoni pizza, 3.89
20 oz Tomato basil soup, 2.99
Pint mango sorbet, 1.98
25 oz Puttanesca sauce, 2.39
16 oz organic ginger limeade, 1.98
16 oz peppermint infused water, .79
1 bottle Big Kahuna (store brand) Australian Cab/Shiraz blend, 2.99

for a grand total of 33 dollars and change. Not bad, about what I'd expect to pay, maybe a little less. Thank goodness they don't have those damn frequency cards, I despise those with a passion.

So far I have tasted the ginger limeade and the fig bars, and I think both of them are very high quality. The limeade is a good balance of sweet and tart, citrus and ginger. The filling of the fig bars is VERY figgy; now that I've tasted these ones, I know that the ones I've had up until now always had plenty of sugar. I wish the fig bars were whole wheat ones, but that's just personal preference coming into play. Next time, I'm tempted to pick up one of their chickens for roasting; butterflied and marinated, ready to pop in the oven, $2.99.

There are a number of things I noticed around the store that I was very happy to see. One big one is that the produce is very fresh; I don't remember the last time I was in a grocery store that the lemons actually SMELLED like fresh lemons off the tree! They have plenty of organic items, often at the same price as a similar non-organic item. And the ingredient lists on the house brand items (which is about 60 percent of the store, and 100 percent of what I bought today) are almost entirely things that I would use if I was making the same thing from scratch; no polysorbate 80 to be found anywhere, as far as I can tell.

There were some bugs that needed to be worked out. One puzzling thing was that the carts had little cupholders built into them, but they were practically useless since the beverages available in the store were all in straight-sided bottles that fit all the way through the cupholder. The self check-out is a bit different than I've seen, with a conveyor belt that scoots your goods down to the end of a regular length checkout counter to make it easier to bag them. Sometimes the conveyor belt would get a bit confused and not take the item all the way down to the end of the conveyor belt, or not even notice that a particularly light item was merrily sitting there, ready for its journey down the counter. I have a feeling that at least the technological issues will be taken care of in fairly short order.

The whole experience of shopping at Fresh & Easy is much like the food they serve... just a little bit different. Shopping carts are smaller, much of what they offer is ready to eat with minimal prep at home, and the check-out lanes are entirely self-check out. I got the sense that it really lives up to the name of "Neighborhood Market" a lot more than the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Markets that dot the east Valley; the staff was courteous enough to make me feel right at home, and the large amount of prepared perishables would mean that you'd make two or three small trips to the grocery store every week instead of one really big one. I would have been comfortable bicycling my purchases home, something I certainly couldn't say when I go to Super Target or even Trader Joe's. I'm looking forward to the ones closer to my place opening soon... Mesa is a lonnnnng way to go to pick up lunch supplies!

The Thanksgiving Menu

2007-11-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

Whew. The groceries have all been bought, and soon it shall be time to transform them into an amazing feast. Here's what's on the table this year:

Crudités with Caesar dip

The Morton Thompson Black Turkey (and here's a second version of the same recipe)

Morton Thompson's Turkey Stuffing

Creamy Mashed Potatoes with Turkey Gravy

Cranberry Sauce

Cream Biscuits

Dinner Rolls

Creamed Spinach

Green Beans with Toasted Hazelnuts and Brown Butter

Bellana's Loaded Mashed Potatoes

Maple-Bacon Glazed Carrots

African Spiced Mashed Sweet Potatoes

Frisée Salad with Cranberry-Bacon Vinaigrette and Blue Cheese Pastries

and then for dessert in case my guests haven't popped yet...

Classic Pumpkin Pie

Pumpkin-Whisky Cheesecake with Brown Sugar-Whisky Cream

Classic Pecan Pie

It should be a fun few days of cooking. Everything is from scratch; I wouldn't have things any other way.

Quickie

2007-11-02T04:23:00.000-07:00

There are better times to find out that one's oven sits off-kilter than after baking the first half of a wedding cake.

Incidentally, the cake itself is red velvet, with (what else?) cream cheese frosting. It will be decorated with blue and silver ribbon, and dotted with silver dragees. I'm sure that sticking the eighty kabillion dragees on the cake will drive me to utter madness. But then, it's hard to be driven somewhere when you're already there, isn't it?

Late Night Notes from a Waffle House

2007-10-19T01:26:00.000-07:00

First off, the Waffle House in east Mesa on Mckellips and Higley now offers green chiles as an addition to your doubled covered and smothered hash browns. Second, the much anticipated Fresh And Easy stores by British company Tesco are on the way, I saw one in construction on Kyrene and Ray in front of the old Madstone theatre. Now, back to my bacon patty melt and covered smothered green chiled hash browns. Mmmm.

Central Phoenicians, rejoice!

2007-10-12T07:57:00.000-07:00

See the red sign on the left? It says "now open". That's right, the new Super Target on 19th Ave and Bethany Home is open for business. You have no idea how excited this makes me.

Review: Urban Campfire, Tempe AZ

2007-09-16T06:35:00.000-07:00

There are certain times that it's really hard to write a review of a restaurant I've been meaning to try once I have been there. Sometimes, things just don't go the least bit like you would expect. My recent (massively disappointing) trip to Grilled Expedition was one of them. This review is hard to write for a different reason entirely. You see, Urban Campfire is a brand new restaurant in the space on the southeast corner of Rural and University that was home to Greasy Tony's since before I was born. The owner of Urban Campfire, Robert Stempkowski, has worked in a number of restaurants around town. You may have heard of one or two... Richardson's, Christopher's, Michael's at the Citadel, Binkley's, Mary Elaine's... and the list still goes on. Robert decided to open up his own little place, and offer up grub that the kids at ASU could not only afford, but also truly enjoy. So, he rolled up his sleeves, cleaned up the old Greasy Tony's (turns out the name was accurate; according to reports from our waitress, it looked like Tony stopped caring about the kitchen some time in the late 80's. Judging by what I remember of the dining room, that sounded about right), and opened up Urban Campfire a couple of months ago. The reason I'm so reluctant to write about this place is because once word gets out as to how utterly amazing Urban Campfire is, those eight tables in the restaurant are going to be a hell of a lot harder to come by.

The whole shebang started out when I met my friend Jeff at the restaurant. The moment he walked in the door, my friend Geena (a true urban gypsy if ever I knew one) called to let me know she got out of work early and was all set to go dancing. So, off I went to pick up Geena, leaving poor Jeff all by his lonesome. Well, not completely by his lonesome... I think he plotted with the waitress to have some kind of errand pop up just as I returned. Once I came back with Geena in tow, he had memorized most (OK, all) of the menu. I had already perused the menu online, so I pretty much knew exactly what I wanted. I got a half-rack of spare ribs ($11.95) with their Yam Planks (yes ladies and gentlemen, it's another place with sweet potato fries!) and baked beans. Jeff got their Cobb Sandwich ($7.95) on marble rye, a creation that put the classic salad between bread, with turkey, ham, bacon (all three of which are smoked in-house, as were my ribs), blue cheese, and other accoutrements. Geena... just ate before she got off work, and got to watch me and Jeff eat. We also decided to split a one-liter carafe of kiwi-basil white sangría ($15.99). The sangría came along pretty quickly, accompanied by Mason jar mugs full of ice, certainly a nice homey touch. It was a fairly simple sangría... maybe a little too simple. I would have liked the kiwi and basil to be a bit more evident; you could pick them up, but they weren't immediately obvious, at least with the first glass. The second glass was a lot sweeter and more obvious with the kiwi and basil (which work very well together, I should say), meaning that next time I get the sangría, I should likely give it a more vigorous stir before pouring.

We waited for a few moments, and our waitress picked up some tiny plates from the expo window. I see the plates coming and my first thought was "No way... they didn't..." When the plates were set on the table, my suspicions were confirmed. They brought out an amuse bouche. Needless to say, I completely did not expect it; usually amuse bouches are something served at places that cost four or five times what Urban Campfire costs. On the plate was a deviled egg, and a few bites of romaine lettuce with a creamy red tomato vinaigrette. The deviled egg was exemplary, with a little bit of horseradish and something else mixed in... I'm not sure what it was, but I'll do my best to catch it next time. Atop the egg was a little bit of minced red onion. The tastes melded together very nicely, and the egg itself was done perfectly, with a just-firm-enough white holding a silky, creamy yolk mixture. The tomato vinagrette was also outstanding, with a bit of tartness to keep the sweetness of the tomatoes in check. With a vinaigrette this good, who needs ketchup for fry dunking? I mentioned to our waitress how much I loved it and she mentioned that in a few months, they'll start bottling it. I have one thing to say about this... Good call.

Shortly after we polished off the amuse bouche, the entrees came along. I was very glad that I didn't attempt to polish off a full rack. The half rack brought a pile of about six or seven spare ribs, very nicely charred on the outside, napped with a slightly thin barbecue sauce that smelled oh so nice and tangy. The beans were in a small ramekin, and the Yam Planks were in a small basket on the side since there was no more room left on the plate. Since I know everyone here is crazy for sweet potato fries, I started out on those. These are wonderful. They aren't your typical fry; they're long sticks about an inch wide and maybe 1/8 inch thick. They're too thick to be potato chips, but too skinny to really be fries. You end up with the best of both; a whisper of a tender interior, with lots of crisp, caramelized exterior. To further enhance the Yam Planks, they are tossed with thyme and black pepper. The seasonings brought out the best of the yams, making them taste more sweet potato-y than just about any other sweet potato fry that I've had. After nibbling a couple of those, I dove into the ribs. This is some serious, serious barbecue. The ribs themselves were nearly falling off the bone and perfectly smoky, and the sauce on top was just the right balance of sweet, tangy, and spicy, with the tangy just barely ahead of the other tastes. The beans were no slouch either, with good smokiness from the bacon added to them and a little sweetness from brown sugar. Jeff greatly enjoyed his Cobb Sandwich; the smokiness of the meats worked well with the blue cheese on the sandwich, and the smoked turkey was so tender it melted in your mouth like it was paté. The fries were classic American hand-cut fries, tossed in grated Parmesan for extra dimension. These were quite nice, but were a bit on the limp side; they would do well to do as the Europeans have done for ages and fry them twice to amp up the crispness. Still, I'd take these over the ones that come out of freezer bags everywhere else; it's rare to find a place that does real fries anymore.

We almost licked our plates clean, and by some miracle still had room for dessert. They have one item for dessert on the menu: Haystack cookies ($1.25 each). You may have made something like these when you were a kid, using chow mein noodles and chocolate. Urban Campfire's are made from pretzel sticks and mini marshmallows, held together by a thick peanut butter and butterscotch sauce. The use of pretzel sticks gave them a little bit of a salty kick, much like with sea salt caramels. It's a good thing they did that; if they used something else, it might have been too sweet. Other than that, these seemed fairly pedestrian (like I said, sort of like something you'd make at home for or with kids), but I'll probably end up getting one every time I go there just because they're still darn tasty. I was talking to some friends about Urban Campfire before I wrote this, and a couple of them thought that some kind of s'mores would be a more appropriate dessert; I'm not quite sure how successfully s'mores could be made in a restaurant kitchen, but it would certainly be something interesting to see on the menu. Before the check arrived, here came our waitress with three more small plates, this time with ramekins of watermelon chunks as a palate cleanser. While I was happily munching away on the fresh fruit, Geena noticed something that didn't even cross my mind- the watermelon got a squeeze of lime before it went out of the kitchen. Considering how much I enjoyed it, I would have to say that the combination worked very well indeed.

Our server then brought the check, which came to just a hair over $42. For the outstanding quality of everything and all of the additional thoughtful touches by both the kitchen and our server (I am going to guess that she's been in the business for a while and is glad to work somewhere casual again), I would have to say that this was an absolutely outstanding deal. This is the kind of place that makes me wish I didn't work during the dinner shift so that I could take friends out to eat here more often. Jeff had other plans for the evening, so we had said our goodbyes and went out the door to our respective cars. Just as we were about to part company, the owner came out the front door with a big grin and a handful of long, brightly colored sticks of something in plastic... Otter Pops! We each got our choice of flavors, got to chat with Robert some as he nibbled the end bits from cutting the Otter Pops open (one of the benefits of being the boss), and found that an Otter Pop on a balmy late summer evening here in Phoenix is a darn near perfect ending to a meal. In all... I think it was five courses in all (every single one a home run, no less) plus a carafe of sangría for just over twenty bucks a head? I'm sold. I can barely wait to return again.

Review: Grilled Expedition, Phoenix AZ

2007-08-24T01:25:00.000-07:00

There are some places that I have walked past more times than I would care to remember, and Grilled Expedition is one of them. They have been on my radar since they opened at Desert Ridge Marketplace. I was in the mood for something a little different tonight, so off I went to the Expedition.

With a name like that, there are many different directions that the designers of the restaurant could have taken. They went with "austere". There were green walls with a triptych of slices of logs that evoked, oh, a woodpile. The tables, chairs, and non-wall architecture were wood or wood tones. I appreciate that they split the dining room into two separate sections (dramatic reduction in noise and it makes the place feel more intimate), but the usual high ceilings and open kitchen mean that if it were busy, the place would likely be quite loud. After waiting an inordinately long time for ice water to arrive when the place is slow (seriously, if it was another 15 seconds we would have left), my friend and I both decided to start out with the X-Ale, apparently created at the turn of the millennium when EVERYTHING was Extreme-this and X-that. Still, it's a decent beer. The server described it as "really dark... like Fat Tire". I shudder to think what would happen if he ever tasted Guinness. Along with the X-Ale, we had some of the Expedition Dip, described on the menu as "a hot blend of cheeses and roasted vegetables with grilled flatbread for dipping". I'm not entirely sure how one manages to screw up hot cheese dip, but they sure as hell did. The portion of dip looked meager and dull, a scant cup of dip that was mostly white with a few flecks of red pepper and an unidentifiable green, likely chopped spinach. The roasted vegetables only provided texture and color, and the primary dairy ingredients we noticed seemed to be sour cream and mild white cheddar. The grilled flatbread was good and tasted like it was made in-house, but would have been better if it was served warm. Also with the dip were a handful of stale-tasting corn chip crumbs from the bottom of the bag. Whoever put the chips on the plate really should have noticed that what they were putting out there was not something people would want to dip with, much less actually eat. The spinach dip over at TGI Friday's was vastly preferable to this... stuff. And at $8.50, this already lackluster appetizer was a very poor value.

For our main courses, I went with the Firewheel pizza (hot sauce, mozzarella, Andouille sausage, beef, red onion) while my friend got the Shrimp Pesto (shrimp, pesto sauce, mozzarella, feta, sun-dried tomato). While waiting for our dinner, I excused myself to the restroom, and was very displeased. The main scent in the restroom once past the bank of sinks was stale pee. I am more accustomed to noticing this in a busy truck stop, not so much in a halfway decent restaurant. It would also be nice if they took the time to brush out the insides of the urinals a little more often.* I likely should have cancelled the order at this point, but hunger makes people do strange things, so we pressed on, despite my wondering if we'd fare as well as Katharine Hepburn when she acted in The African Queen.**

The pizzas came pretty quickly. Mine was the definite winner of the two. The hot sauce had a bit of tanginess and a little sweetness, almost like wing sauce cut with a little bit of BBQ sauce. The andouille reminded me more of plain old smoked sausage, but the beef chunks were very nice, little steak-y bits all over the pizza. The crust was fantastic, picking up just enough of the wood fire smoke to give it some great depth. The guys at Patsy Grimaldi's would do well to take some notes from Grilled Expedition. My friend's Shrimp Pesto pizza was OK, but completely unoriginal. I think I had something similar from Wolfgang Puck's line of frozen pizzas when they first came out in the mid-90's.

After two beers, appetizer, and two pizzas, the bill was about $45. It had the potential to be worth this, but the combination of dull service (it was hard to tell if he was just green, or bored; there were times it sounded like he was reading from cue cards) and abysmal housekeeping left a less than pleasant taste in my mouth. The pizzas were quite good, but beyond that I have no reason to recommend the Desert Ridge location of Grilled Expedition to anyone. I may still try out the one in Tempe to see if it fares better. Or, if you've tried out the Tempe location, let me know.

*In case you're wondering, it turns out yes, the old adage how you can tell the cleanliness of the kitchen by the cleanliness of the restroom is completely true. I just checked their most recent inspection report from the beginning of July, and there were reports of "black slimy mold" in the ice machine, more "black mold" in a container of running water for holding scoops, and "food debris on floors" in the dry storage and kitchen itself. All of the problems were corrected upon the follow-up visit three days later.

**I sure love my footnotes, huh? When Hepburn did The African Queen, they actually filmed it in Africa. You know how when you go traveling overseas you shouldn't drink the water? She did.

Review: Cafe Zuzu, Hotel Valley Ho, Scottsdale AZ

2007-08-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

(In interests of full disclosure, I work at Hotel Valley Ho, but in a different department. I stayed objective as possible, and yes, they did know I work at the hotel.)

I have been working at the Hotel Valley Ho for over a year now. It's a great place. However, due to my weird schedule from working the dinner shift, I haven't been able to partake in the offerings at the hotel's other restaurant, Cafe Zuzu. I'm always either in bed or at work when Zuzu is open. I do have a friend who joins me regularly for breakfast, and we love going all over the place. We've been to Matt's Big Breakfast, Butterfield's, Au Petit Four, and a host of other breakfast places. There are some great places for breakfast in town, but I would have to say that Zuzu blows everything else clean out of the water. The atmosphere is delightfully retro, with oranges and browns all over the place, and plenty of curvaceous furniture. The waitress, Sharon, did a wonderful job of keeping our coffee and juice full and the table clean (she's one of the few I've seen who regularly picked up empty sugar packets) and was just the right level of cheerful warmth to make you feel right at home. The food is serious stuff, too. I had the daily special, a Seafood Newburg omelette loaded with crab and shrimp; my friend Mike got their breakfast sandwich, consisting of a fried egg, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and veggie cream cheese smear on toasted white bread. My roomie came along too, and he tried the strawberry waffle. I truly love how everything was perfectly done familiar comfort-style food with just enough of a twist to make it interesting. That's a tricky balance; too familiar and it tastes just like everything else out there, too unique and almost every breakfast diner out there will turn up their nose at it. I'm very hard pressed to pick a stand-out dish; all three were winners. I think that Mike's breakfast sandwich was the winner by a nose. It was something about the veggie smear that just brought everything together. Roomie's waffle had lemon-orange curd on top, which somehow went brilliantly well with maple syrup. My seafood omelette was very rich, but not *too* much so. It knew right where that line was and came as close to it as possible. House-made apricot preserves were a very delicious touch to top my toast.

Before tax and tip, the full breakfast for three was around 42 dollars. I would say it's a very solid value; a little pricier than most breakfast places, but you will certainly be well-fed with very high-quality grub. I've spent a long time searching, but I may just have myself a regular weekend breakfast spot. And to think, it's been right under my nose all this time.

The Ratings Explained

2007-06-29T18:54:00.000-07:00

This post has been a long time coming, and finally here it is. I do my reviews mostly on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the best. Well, actually, it's more of a 0 to 6 scale, but zeros and sixes are quite rare. I start off each overview with the basic information, like this:

The Peppermill Restaurant and Fireside Lounge
2985 Las Vegas Blvd
Las Vegas NV 89109
(702) 735-4177

Open for: 24 Hours a Day- Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Dinner, Late Night

Then comes the numerical bits of Atmosphere, Service, and Food:

Atmosphere: 5 (A testament to how tacky everything was in the 80s. I wouldn't want it any other way.)
Service: 4 (this time you could tell the waitresses got slammed at 3 AM, but everyone was friendly. And thank goodness, they still said good night when I left at 4!)
Food: 4 (Competent, generous, and for heavens' sakes get the coffee!)

Each of these goes off of the same scale:
6: Wow, this is the best I've ever had!
5: I loved it
4: I liked it
3: It's OK
2: I didn't like it
1: I hated it
0: Not Acceptable

The 0 rating happens when something happens that just plain should not exist in the course of dining. Two notable occurences were an atmosphere 0 for a bathroom that looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a week, and a service 0 when the counter person took something I had returned and put it back under the heat lamps. In both cases, there was just one thing to say: Eew. I always include a brief description to explain just why I gave that particular number.

Next up is:

Value 3 (Looks kind of pricey, but quality is good and portions can be gigantic)

This measures the kind of bang you get for your buck.
5: An absolute steal
4: Prices are a little low
3: Prices are reasonable
2: Prices are a little high
1: Rip-off!

I also mention a couple of special dining cases:

Kid Friendly: 4 (Kids will be very happy here)
Veg Friendly: 3 (With a menu this expansive, there are quite a few veg choices, but more on the breakfast menu than dinner. Vegan options are limited but do exist)

Both of these work pretty much the same way:
5: The restaurant specifically caters to this clientele (Chuck E Cheese and Green, respectively)
4: The restaurant put forth good effort to accomodate this clientele (Oregano's and Pita Jungle)
3: The restaurant has basic amenities for this clientele (Most restaurants)
2: The restaurant has limited options for this clientele (Delux and Texas Roadhouse)
1: The restaurant does not cater to this clientele (Mary Elaine's and Durant's)

Last is the Overall score, which works the same way as the Food/Service/Atmosphere rankings. Note that this is not an average! A place could have 4s across the board but still get a 3 or 5 just as easily due to those little unseen touches that bring everything together or pull everything apart.

From the mailbag

2007-06-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

I just got a question from one of my readers through the nifty little Meebo box on the right hand side of the page. Since they left the page before I could respond, here's my reply.

meeboguest950458: I am looking for rock candy syrup for a mai tai recipe. Can I use grenadine?

The Jester Sez: Nope. Grenadine and rock candy syrup are completely separate ingredients; grenadine is (or at least is supposed to be) pomegranate flavor, rock candy syrup is a neutral flavor. Rock Candy syrup is more commonly known as simple syrup, which is available for sale at most liquor stores. Don't bother buying it, as it's incredibly easy to make at home. To make rock candy syrup, mix 1 pound of sugar (a little more than 2 cups) and a cup of water and heat either in the microwave or on the stove until the solution is completely clear. Store it in a bottle in the fridge. It keeps indefinitely. I don't know when grenadine found its way into the Mai Tai; I have a theory that a bartender somewhere used creme de noyaux (a pink almond liqueur) as a substitution for orgeat, and someone who watched him thought the red liquid was grenadine. However it happened, grenadine should not go in a Mai Tai.

If you ever have any questions, whether about cooking something you see here, local restaurants, or food in general, meebo me! If I'm not around, you can always leave a message. Hint: If you want to catch me live, I'm usually on late at night.

Dinner for that movie coming out

2007-06-14T04:57:00.000-07:00

As you may well know by now, Pixar is releasing the movie Ratatouille at the end of this month. After watching a clip on the movie's site, I have a feeling this is going to be every bit as much of a joy to watch as other classic food films such as Like Water for Chocolate and Big Night. This could very well be a good occasion to go to see this at a drive-in, since that way we can bring our own food. And with a movie featuring French cooking enough that the name of the movie is a Provençale dish, I'm putting together a menu of deliciousness from southeastern France.

Appetizer
Pissaladière (onion tart with anchovy and olives)

Main course
Poulet Provençal (chicken braised in tomato, garlic, and herbs)
served with baguettes, roasted red potatoes, and ratatouille (of course!)

Dessert
Raspberry gratin

There's strong temptation to do some kind of salad after the main, but I think three courses for a drive-in movie dinner should be more than enough.

Burger Bar- Mandalay Bay

2007-06-09T14:41:00.001-07:00

forgot to take pic. damn. Burger Bar serves up without a doubt THE best burger I have had. Wow. My favorite was Delux until I tried this burger. Delux is no slouch and this is head and shoulders above Delux. The menu is much more expansive than that of Delux, with three different kinds of beef to select (including American Kobe, but what's the point of American Kobe when it's ground anyway?), turkey and veggie options, five bread choices, and a list of toppings that ranges from classic (Cheddar cheese, sauteed mushrooms) to eccentric (grilled asparagus, beetroot pickle), to extravagant (black truffles, lobster, foie gras). I had a burger of Ridgefield Farms beef ($8) on ciabatta with blue cheese ($0.50), grilled onion ($0.95), peppered bacon ($0.95) (Did I mention they offer four different kinds of bacon?), and truffle sauce ($5), cooked medium-rare. For sides, my friend and I got some of their sweet potato fries ($2.50) and onion rings ($3.25).

Yeah, I was pushing close to 20 bucks for a burger and fries. I blame the truffle sauce. It was easily worth every last dime. Everything came together brilliantly well, and you could still taste the beef under the rich ingredients. The ciabatta did its job marvelously, offering support without collapsing halfway through, adding its own note the the taste without dominating the bite like those ciabatta burgers at Jack In The Box. The sides were both exemplary; the sweet potato fries were the crispest that I've had, and the onion rings were a rare example of the thick-breaded rings that didn't get pulled from a freezer bag. Everything was just marvelous; the food was perfect, the servers amazingly attentive without being obtrusive, and the design of the place allowed for a raucous crowd and fairly loud music but still let you converse at normal volumes. I just got word down the pipe that there's a new burger place at Fashion Show Mall called Stripburger, but they're going to have an awfully hard time pulling me away from repeated visits to Burger Bar every time I'm in Vegas.

Burger Bar
3930 Las Vegas Blvd S
Las Vegas, NV 89119
702-632-7777

Atmosphere: 5 (Very nice looking, and perfect acoustic design)
Service: 5 (The whole package, outgoing, friendly, attentive without being obtrusive)
Food: 6! (Seriously the best burger I have had)
Value: 3 (Prices can sneak up on you with added toppings, but worth it)
Kid Friendly: 2 (It's a sports bar atmosphere, I didn't see many kids at all)
Veg friendly: 3 (They do have a vegan veggie burger on the menu)
Overall: 5 (If you enjoy a great burger, you simply have to go to Burger Bar)

chocolat at the wynn

2007-06-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

the feuillante (hazelnut) is very good, the earl grey tea one is almost too good for words. such swirling flavors in one little bite! you have to stop and try one when you are at the wynn.

real breakfast: lenotre, paris lv

2007-06-09T09:14:00.001-07:00

no picture, you know what a croissant looks like. I had a latte and pain au chocolat (chocolate croissant). The latte was decent, nothing outstanding but when it's before 9 am for me, warm and caffeinated is plenty. The pain au chocolat was definitely one of the better I've had, with its taste pushing that of brioche, with a hint of a sweet note and just a little bit of tanginess from something, maybe the yeast. I prefer my criossant based pastries to be ultra-flaky to the point that you are showered in crumbs, but this one resolutely held together thanks to an egg wash. I would imagine that the scores of conventioneers who stop by here because of its proximity to Paris's meeting halls are less appreciative of crumbs than I am.

Lenôtre at Paris Las Vegas
3655 S Las Vegas Blvd
Las Vegas NV 89109
(702) 946-7000

Open for: Breakfast, 6:30 AM-11PM
Atmosphere: 3 (Most of the atmospheric touches were provided by the gift shop in the back)
Service: 3 (I was handled by several people, ranging from very friendly to quite brusque)
Food: 4 (Good, solid pastries)
Value 2 (a bit on the steep side, but then, this is the Strip)
Kid Friendly: 3 (Nothing obviously made for kids, but they won't feel left out)
Veg Friendly: 4 (It's pastries! Due to what must be vast amounts of butter, vegans may feel left out)
Overall: 3 (Good for a quick stop if you're in the area, but I wouldn't go out of my way)

3 am breakfast- peppermill las vegas

2007-06-09T03:45:00.000-07:00

When you're in Vegas and it's getting to be so late it's early, there's only one real option for where to go for food: the Peppermill. It's a 24 hour restaurant up on the north end of the Strip, near Circus Circus. The place is a bastion of old-school Las Vegas; it was built in the mid-1970s, and remodeled once in the 1980s. The result is a glorious mix of both times. U-shaped booths abound (and once I have bought a house I'm going to eschew the dining room table in favor of a booth styled after the ones at Peppermill), there are huge fake cherry trees illuminated by color changing floodlights, the waitresses' uniforms are this incredibly gaudy floral print, the cocktail waitresses sashay about the dining room in what has to be *the* perfect black dress, and the whole place is lit in shades of magenta and turquoise. It really has to be seen to be believed. The food there is pretty decent; it's a step above normal coffee shop fare, and the portions are ridiculously big. It's the perfect thing to cap off a night of craziness in Vegas. If I'm there with a group, I love to split the Fruit Salad. When it comes to the table, it looks like the waitress just dropped off Carmen Miranda's hat. But this time, I was alone, so instead I had:

the Peppermill omelet- turkey, two cheeses, hollandaise, and sliced tomato. The omelet itself was kind of boring (what did I expect from a turkey and cheese omelet, really?), but was certainly jazzed up by the tangy tomato and surprisingly good Hollandaise. The hashbrowns are perfect, a delicious mix of tender white bits and little crunchy nubs that were *this* close to overcooking. I love it when places are willing to actually cook the hash browns; so often you get this pale blond mat of shredded spuds, and those just don't do anything for me. The coffee is absolutely the best anywhere. It's the thick, rich kind you can practically stand up the spoon in. It's marvelous black (and indeed about the only coffee shop coffee I've found that I'll take black) and only gets better with just a touch of cream and sugar.

The Peppermill Restaurant and Fireside Lounge
2985 Las Vegas Blvd
Las Vegas NV 89109
(702) 735-4177

Open for: 24 Hours a Day- Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Dinner, Late Night
Atmosphere: 5 (A testament to how tacky everything was in the 80s. I wouldn't want it any other way.)
Service: 4 (this time you could tell the waitresses got slammed at 3 AM, but everyone was friendly. And thank goodness, they still said good night when I left at 4!)
Food: 4 (Competent, generous, and for heavens' sakes get the coffee!)
Value 3 (Looks kind of pricey, but quality is good and portions can be gigantic)
Kid Friendly: 4 (Kids will be very happy here)
Veg Friendly: 3 (With a menu this expansive, there are quite a few veg choices, but more on the breakfast menu than dinner. Vegan options are limited but do exist)
Overall: 5 (One of those times when the whole is so much more than the sum of its parts)

A Short Treatise on a Favorite Beverage

2007-06-05T04:41:00.000-07:00

It has now been a full year since Trader Vic's has opened its doors in Scottsdale once more. I feel extremely blessed to be a part of it from the beginning. The anniversary kind of snuck up on all of us; we've been having so much fun at the restaurant that it hasn't felt even close to a year. We've seen faces come and go, and still people come in at a pretty darn good rate. And I've come to appreciate even more the craft of the cocktail. Vic really knew what he was doing ages ago, and his spirit definitely lives on in all of the spirits we serve today. My favorite is our signature drink, the classic Mai Tai.

The Mai Tai at Trader Vic's is completely unlike anything else I've been served with the same name. So many places load theirs up with tropical juices and heavy syrups, and the result is a saccharine concoction that might as well just be fruit punch. At Vic's, the recipe is very simple; just our Royal Amber Rum, fresh lime, sweet orange, and a little hint of almond to round things out.

The Mai Tai got its start way back in 1944 at the original Trader Vic's on 65th and San Pablo in Oakland (the area is now Emeryville), California. One day, Vic decided to create a new drink, something he had done quite a few times in the past. He started out with great rum, a 17-year Jamaican from J. Wray & Nephew. He added a little Holland DeKuyper Orange Curaçao, some Garnier orgeat syrup from France, the juice of a lime, and a dollop of Rock Candy Syrup. He gave it a mighty shake with some crushed ice, poured it into a glass, and was about to taste his new creation when he found out that a couple of friends of his from Tahiti, Ham and Carrie Guild, had just come in to the restaurant. Vic had the bartenders make a couple more of this new drink, and he took them out to the Guilds. He offered it to them, mentioning that they were the first to taste it, and tell him what they thought. Carrie took a sip. Her eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "This is maitai! It's maitai roa a'e!" To which Vic naturally could only say one thing... "What the hell does that mean?" Carrie replied that it's Tahitian for "Out of this world, the best"*. So, Vic decided at that point to call it the Mai Tai. It's one of the rare exceptions to my Chowhound Rule Of Thumb #2- the Mai Tai's name means "good", and it is very good indeed.

Nowadays, it's impossible to truly make the original Mai Tai, as Trader Vic's exhausted the world supply of J. Wray & Nephew 17-year just one year after the drink's creation, and Garnier doesn't make orgeat anymore. Thankfully, J. Wray & Nephew is still making rum, now under the name of Appleton Estate, and Dekuyper is certainly still making orange curaçao. There are several brands of orgeat available; I favor Torani because it uses real sugar. So, I now present my house version of the Original Mai Tai:

2 ounces Appleton Estate Extra (the black label one)
1/2 ounce DeKuyper Orange Curaçao
1/2 ounce Torani Orgeat Syrup
1/2 ounce fresh squeezed lime juice
1/4 ounce Rock Candy Syrup

Shake very well with 2 cups of crushed ice. Pour into a glass without straining, and garnish with a sprig of mint (and a speared maraschino cherry and pineapple tidbit if you have them handy).

There's a couple of things that I should take the time to explain about two of the ingredients. Buying crushed ice at the grocery store won't work, it's not crushed enough. You can crush ice at home with an ice crusher, a halfway decent blender, or by putting ice in a plastic bag, wrapping it with a towel, and beating the hell out of it with a heavy blunt object (I favor a marble rolling pin, you may get better mileage out of a mallet or cast iron skillet). There is also a good chance that you can get your hands on some finely crushed ice (the same kind we use at the restaurant, as far as I can tell) just by visiting your local Sonic Drive-In. Just ask the friendly carhop, and you should be able to get your hands on a bunch. The other thing to explain is the Rock Candy syrup, also known as simple syrup. There are a number of brands out there that you can buy, and I don't recommend any of them. It's incredibly easy to make at home. I use a double strength one in the Mai Tai; just combine 1 pound of sugar with 1 cup of water, and heat either in the microwave or on the stove until the liquid is completely clear and there are no signs of sugar granules anywhere. Pour it into a bottle, and store in the fridge. It keeps indefinitely. You can make a normal strength solution with equal amounts sugar and water (use twice as much if you do), but don't try making one stronger than listed here; if you do, it will spontaneously crystallize and you'll be left with a very difficult to clean bottle (but a massive chunk of rock candy to show for it).

*She's right, "maitai" means good, roa and a'e both act as affirmative enhancements. The closer literal translation would be "It's good! It's really, REALLY good!"

News from the Eastern Bandido Front

2007-06-04T04:55:00.000-07:00

I recently stopped in at the Chandler location of the incredibly delicious Chino Bandido Takee-Outee for lunch, and had a chance to chat with the counter girl a bit. You see, the Chandler Chino's got robbed a couple of weeks ago, and they were thinking of closing up shop in a month or two. This, of course, would not be a good thing for my friends in the East Valley who are all now addicted to Chino Bandido. Apparently, they are now getting back on their feet (and are now able to accept plastic again), and much like the opening of the Chandler one, talks about closing it are being delayed. As many times as the opening of it got delayed by one thing or another, if the place ever closes, they'll probably start talking about it in earnest some time in late 2015 or so.

The biggest thing that will help keep the place alive is to EAT AT CHINO'S! Especially for dinner; the place is always hopping at lunch but then it's nobody but the staff and the crickets after that. Remember the Takee-Outee part... you can bring home Jade Red Chicken quesadillas for the whole family. Frank, Eve, and Pancho will all thank you.

Plotting International Nibblies

2007-05-16T02:42:00.000-07:00

Some friends of mine are throwing a party in June. These parties are absolute juggernauts. It runs for an entire weekend, and this time we're going to have *two* bands. One of them knows the music for one of my favorite karaoke songs, "It's The End Of The World (As We Know It)" by REM. That should turn out interesting. Now if only the party wasn't out at 319th Avenue!

But anyway, this is a food blog, back to the food. At these parties, I throw a smaller party for the people who are helping make the party happen so that they have a chance to relax. This time, I'm going to offer a variety of snacks from around the globe. I'm trying out different possibilities, and I greatly enjoy both of the ones I've done so far. The first are fried peanuts in a Southeast Asian spice blend (Madras curry with a little sweetness added), and North African cheese mantecaos, little cheese pastry balls spiced with cumin and cayenne. The flavor of the mantecaos is wonderful, changing as you savor one. I'll likely do the mantecaos with either a really good sharp Cheddar or some Emmentaler. Also on the menu so far are hummus with pita triangles, cha siu pork, Brazilian brigadeiro (an intensely chocolaty dessert), and a tropical dried fruit medley. I'm tempted to do the Tuscan Hummus recipe I have from California Pizza Kitchen; I've tried it before and it's very tasty, but at the same time I think traditional hummus would be pretty nice too. I think I have a pretty decent selection of exotic locales, with North Africa, China, Southeast Asia, Brazil, the Middle East (or maybe Northern Italy), and Polynesia... should I include anything else?

On Location: Welcome Diner, Phoenix AZ

2007-05-07T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at the counter at the Welcome Diner on 10th Street and Roosevelt near downtown Phoenix. I am most impressed so far, everything is just perfect. everything is unpretentious and greatly enjoyable. I have a feeling I'll be a regular in no time.

2007-04-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

I'm up in flagstaff, and just saw something coming soon here that I don't think we have in phoenix... Himalayan food! The restaurant will serve Nepali and Tibetan fare. It's on Milton, next to the home brew supply place.

Jester On The Go: Olive & Ivy, Scottsdale AZ.

2007-03-31T16:24:00.001-07:00

Today, I did a common thing when I'm scheduled to go in to work later than usual... I went in at the normal time. I suddenly found I had 45 minutes to kill, and felt like grabbing a small nibble of some sort. I almost went to the Nordstrom Cafe, but the mall was absolutely jammed. It was a nice day, what were all of you people doing going to an air conditioned building? I went out and looked for another option, then remembered about the new Fox restaurant, Olive & Ivy, on the other side of the Nordstrom parking garage.

Olive and Ivy is a very pretty place, with soaring ceilings, dark woods, sleek surfaces, and nice partitioning so it doesn't feel like a warehouse. It is split into several sections; the standard bar and restaurant areas, plus a to-go counter that features coffeehouse offerings (espresso drinks and baked goods) plus several flavors of (Oh God, Not Again!) gelato. The split layout means they can be open all day long without feeling like half of the place is closed: The counter is open for breakfast and lunch; the restaurant is open for brunch, lunch, and dinner; and the bar is open at lunch, dinner, and for late-night nibbles. I spent a few minutes perusing the cold case in the counter area, stocked with overpriced beer, mini bottles of wine, and soft drinks. They had an excellent selection of exotic and familiar offerings. But two bucks for Vitamin Water that costs two thirds that at a run of the mill convenience store? Aie.

I stood eyeing the gelato case for a minute or so; the two people behind the expansive counter preferred chatting with each other and straightening the adjacent espresso machine area to other activities such as... oh, I don't know, how about greeting the puzzled looking guest in front of you?! They may have made eye contact once or twice. I don't remember. It was certainly not the first impression I wanted. I doubt I'm going to try them again.

Olive & Ivy
7135 E Camelback Rd Ste 195 (Scottsdale Waterfront complex)
Scottsdale AZ 85251
480-751-2200

Open for: Breakfast, Weekend Brunch, Lunch, Dinner, Late Night
Atmosphere: 5 (Absolutely gorgeous)
Service: 0 (there was none, not even a hello. Inexcusable.)
Food: Not Reviewed
Value 2 (items in cold case were overpriced)
Kid Friendly: 2 (upscale, no hint of kids menu; upscale kids will be pleased with the small plates)
Overall: No Rating due to no food tasting. Overall impression is that it's the archetype downtown Scottsdale restaurant- very pretty, costs more than it should, and the customers serve as an interruption to the employees' social hour. I see no reason to return.

What IS Mack Daddy's, anyway?

2007-03-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

My commute takes me along Indian School Road from central Phoenix to Scottsdale on an almost daily basis. As such, I'm always on the lookout for new things to eat in between here and there. One that I've noticed (and noticed that they're taking their sweet time to get up and running) is Mack Daddy's 3-2 Gourmet To Go, over on 32nd Street and Indian School. I looked around for it online, and found their website to be almost impossible to find. Eventually, I found out that the eatery is run by the same guy who owns Newton Fitness next door, Mack Newton. Further poking on the website revealed that the 3-2 in the name is the name of Mack's diet plan. The 3 is for the three things you can eat (lean meats, vegetables, and fresh fruit), the 2 for the two things you can drink (water and fruit juice). That's right, it's a low-carb diet restaurant! If they opened this seven years ago they would have lines out the door. These days, I'm not so sure. And yes, Mack, it IS a diet, despite what your website claims.

The mentions of the food on the website leave me utterly cold. There's no mention of using truly high-quality ingredients, except that they call higher quality food "that which is served closer to the natural state in which it occurs." When one is working with a simpler ingredient set such as this, everything has to be absolutely the best it can, preferably something locally produced, or at least in season. Add to this a complete lack of salt in the kitchen. Yes, that's right, no salt at all. While this is good news to people with high blood pressure, for everyone else it means the food is going to be utterly bland. According to the website, salt is a "powerful flavorizer" with a "sharp, acidic taste". Flavorizer? Why must they make up words? And salt is not acidic, it is neutral. A little bit of salt can heighten the flavor of just about any food; if you have ever tasted baked goods that someone forgot to add the salt to, surely you noticed it just didn't taste right, that the flavor of the food just fell flat. More worrisome is their testimonial section, which has several mentions of weight lost, but not a word about what the food is like. I have a feeling that about the only people who will frequent Mack Daddy's are the ones already on Newton's program; the rest of us don't have much to hope for there.

Cooking: Red Curry

2007-03-14T01:59:00.000-07:00

I have a friend who is, when left to her own devices, entirely un-Chowhoundish. I invited her and her beau over to my place for dinner one night, and they turned down the invitation in favor of a trip to Olive Garden. They could have at least been a little diplomatic and said they weren't sure where they were going yet! She lived in a house with three college age guys at one point. The default meal was Hamburger Helper. She figured it was one of the few things that everyone could devour without putting her in the poor house. Something about the idea of dinner from a box scares me. Maybe it's the list of ingredients that look like they belong in a science lab, or the tendency for different flavors to taste less like the real items they're trying to emulate, and more just like each other. I'm utterly tired of mass-produced, processed junk masquerading as a wholesome meal. I want my food to resemble FOOD, darn it!

Fear not, good citizens. Your friendly local Asian grocery store is to the rescue! There's all kinds of wonderful things inside, but this time I'm focusing on curry, specifically Thai style red curry. Three styles of Thai curry are known by colorful names- Green curry, with green chilis and shallots; yellow curry, with plenty of turmeric and usually potatoes and onions as ingredients for the curry; and red curry, with red chilis. This time, I'm making red curry. There's a lot of ingredients in the curry that are pretty hard to find outside of specialty grocery stores, including galangal, lemongrass, and kaffir lime. Thankfully, red (and green and yellow) curry pastes are available with all of the herbs and spices already mixed together for you. All you need to add is some coconut milk, meat, and vegetables, and tah-dah! It's dinner!

If you can make any of those dinners in a box, you can certainly make Thai red curry. Take 3.5 ounces of curry paste (for a less spicy curry, use less curry paste, down to half as much), and moosh it around in a 12 inch skillet over medium-high heat. Then, add two cans of coconut milk one at a time, mixing thoroughly before adding the next ingredient. Add 8 ounces of any meat you like (we've been doing chicken a lot here just because I always have some frozen chicken breasts from Trader Joe's at hand), and let the mixture simmer until the meat is as done as you like. Add 4 to 8 ounces of your choice of chopped vegetables (we like carrots, onion, and snow peas quite a bit, but let your imagination go wild), let that simmer until the vegetables are done (just a couple of minutes), and serve. Yes, it's that easy, and there's only one pot to clean up afterward. Well, two pots... steamed rice on the side is essential.

Speaking of rice, here's how I do rice for any Asian meals. Mix 3 cups of water with 2 cups of rice (I use jasmine rice) and about half a teaspoon of salt. Let that boil over medium high heat until the water level drops below the surface of the rice, about 10 minutes. Cover the pot, turn the heat down to low, and let it cook for another 15 minutes. Take it off the heat, give it a quick stir/fluff to stop the cooking, and serve.

What The Jester Had For Dessert: Melt Gelato, Phoenix AZ

2007-03-09T04:47:00.000-07:00

I have been to a godawful lot of gelaterias in the Phoenix area. They certainly are prolific. I can think of seven different companies, and close to a dozen total locations of said companies. There is now yet another player in this hot market, namely a Southern California based franchise operation called Melt (no relation to the bath and body product company of the same name). Their first location is open in Paradise Valley Mall, with a second location set to open soon in Superstition Springs Mall in Mesa.

I went over there to try it today, and was vastly underwhelmed. I was impressed by their selection, with what looked like about 32 different flavors. They offer three sizes of gelato; a one-flavor small, a two-flavor large, and the Bambino, a selection of eight mini-scoops. They do also offer espresso drinks and a variety of sweet and savory crepes; these were not tasted on this trip. Since I wanted to get as big of a taste of their product line as possible, my friend Bellana and I naturally split the Bambino. We got the double dark chocolate, strawberry cheesecake, burgundy cherry, açai mixed berry sorbet, raspberry sorbet, butter pecan, cookies & cream, and Tropical (piña colada). I also tried samples of the tequila lime gelato and pomegranate sorbet. The best of them was the açai mixed berry, but it was plagued with an iciness that often comes from the product being taken in and out of a hard freeze. Many of the gelati had a very gummy, almost gluey texture that just didn't give the right mouthfeel. On top of this, the flavors just weren't deep enough. I could barely notice a difference between the cookies & cream and the burgundy cherry if it wasn't for the telltale bits of cherry in the latter. It is one of the slicker looking gelaterias in town, coming close to rivaling the cheerful colors of Arlecchino, and the service is personable and friendly, but those will only get you so far when the product itself is lacking so much. In retrospect, I shouldn't be all that surprised. I looked at their website, and most of it is about franchis opportunities. This is definitely a Chowhound's red flag; the company shows this way that they care more about opening new locations than about creating a great product.

Melt Gelato
4568 E Cactus Road
Phoenix, AZ
Paradise Valley Mall Food Court

Open For: Lunch, Dinner
Food: 2 (textures were off, flavors need to be stronger)
Service: 3 (Nice people, and they didn't mind us sampling several flavors while we made up our minds)
Atmosphere: 4 (Clean, modern, and metallic)
Value: 3 (Right around what everyone else is charging)
Kid Friendly? 4 (Come on, it's ice cream!)
Price: 1 (inexpensive)
Overall: 3 (It was OK, certainly nothing to go out of one's way for)

Two Great Pieces of Sushi News

2007-03-07T15:57:00.000-07:00

I went to college down in Tucson. While there, friends introduced me to a terrific Japanese restaurant called Sushi Ten. The food was top-notch, and the prices were an outstanding value. Indeed, Sushi Ten was one of the things I really missed about Tucson; there's plenty of Japanese restaurants around town, but none that came quite close to the charm of Sushi Ten. Then, a few months ago I found out the owners of Sushi Ten were planning to sell the restaurant and move up here. A month or two ago, they landed here and opened their new restaurant, Sushi Ken, over on Chandler Boulevard a little east of 40th Street, in the same shopping centre as CK's Tavern. I am very pleased to report that the menu is every bit as expansive as the one at Sushi Ten, and the food is every bit as terrific as it was down in Tucson. My friend and I got a 12-piece sashimi sampler plate, pork katsu donburi (a rice bowl topped with fried pork cutlet, sauteed onion, and egg), and sukiyaki chicken. All of it was top-notch, and the bill came to less than 30 dollars.

Now, on to even better news. A few years ago, there was an unbelievable sushi restaurant in Chandler not far from where Sushi Ken is now, called Shinbay. Shinbay was by far the best sushi restaurant I had been to, and indeed one of the best restaurants I have dined at in my life. I can still vividly remember the flavors of the meal including oysters in black bean sauce, and mussels in a very complex broth. Then, just over a year ago, Shinbay closed up shop. There was a note on the webpage saying to email them to find out where chef Shinji Kurita was now. I tried that route, to no avail, and eventually forgot all but the Shin of his name. Then, some discussion on Chowhound revealed the rest of his name to me. I then realized that the marquee for one of my favorite Chinese restaurants, Autumn Court over on 38th Street and Indian School, has been advertising for weeks that none other than Shinji Kurita is doing sushi there! Fellow sushi lovers, you owe it to yourself to get over to Autumn Court and try Kurita-san's sushi. If it's even half as good as what he made at Shinbay it will still be some of the very best sushi in town. Go. Now. Trust me on this.

Review: Flaming Kabob Cuisine, Mesa AZ

2007-01-18T03:52:00.000-07:00

One thing that a great many Phoenicians bemoan is the endless strip malls filled with nothing but dismal chain restaurant fare as far as the eye can see. It certainly does seem like shopping centers pop up in the blink of an eye, tempting Chowhounds valleywide with new spaces that might hold something exciting and new. Alas, such is rarely the case. Take the Mesa Grand shopping center over on Stapley in between Baseline and the Superstition freeway. Within two minutes' walking distance of each other are Panda Express, Cold Stone Creamery, Rubio's, Souper Salad, a cheesesteak chain, Chili's, Texas Roadhouse, Romano's Macaroni Grill, L&L Hawaiian Barbecue, Old Country Buffet, Pizzeria Uno, Charleston's, Fatburger, El Paso BBQ Company, and I'm sure there are more that I missed, all on a single corner. While I will admit that I get the occasional craving for some of these, for the most part they serve up boring, industrial fare that you can get at similar shopping centers just a few miles down the road. Maybe it's not exactly the same restaurants, but it's the same old song nonetheless.

Enter the ravages of time. Inevitably, a few of these national operations fall by the wayside. Maybe the franchisor had trouble. Or it could be that the people in the area just couldn't be convinced that this kind of restaurant is a good idea. For whatever the reason, the 5 & Diner location a mile down Baseline just a little east of Gilbert Road closed up shop. For a good long time, the building sat empty, waiting for a new tenant. Then one day, a Middle Eastern restaurant called Flaming Kabob Cuisine opened in the space of the old diner.

My friend Bellana and I walked into the old diner, wondering what changes they made to give it a better thematic flavor. They did... nothing. Well, almost nothing. Where condiments once stood above the expo line, there now was a wide variety of hookahs and flavored tobacco. The miniature jukeboxes disappeared from the tables, replaced by upbeat Middle Eastern dance music playing on the sound system. Any art on the walls had vanished, save two small framed automobile advertisements in the men's restroom (it looks like they were glued down very firmly indeed). It looked like you'd expect a 5 & Diner to look before the decorators came in, with red walls, glittery red and silver naugahyde booths, and glossy black ceiling fans.

We looked over the menu, trying to figure out what to try, when I spied the Combo for Two on the menu. It looked like a good way to sample most of the menu without taking home food for three days; on it were chicken and lamb kebab, chicken shawarma, shish kefta, kibbeh, falafel, dolmades, rice, green salad, and hummus, all for $22.99. We ordered that, along with a couple of cups of Chicken Lemon Rice soup ($1.99 each). The soup arrived from the kitchen quickly. We took a moment to enjoy the aroma wafting from the soup, and dove in. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't terrific either. Both Bellana and I felt that the seasonings could have used some adjustment, maybe a little paprika would give it the little nudge that it seemed to miss. However, that was the last of my worries about the food. The hummus at Flaming Kabob is serious stuff, silky smooth, loaded with a perfect balance of garlic and lemon. It's almost worth the drive out there just for the hummus. Almost. The staff was quick to bring more pita when we ran out; I felt like it would have been nice to get a bit more at the start, but at the same time bringing more as necessary keeps the warm pita from getting cold. As we almost finished the hummus, our salad arrived. It was plenty of romaine lettuce chopped into nice small pieces (Note to other restaurateurs out there: Salad is not meant to be eaten with a knife! For Pete's sake, would you mind cutting the lettuce into manageable bites?), accented with bits of tomato and cucumber. The house dressing tossed on the salad was incredible, a refreshing, lemony vinaigrette with plenty of herbs.

Before too long, the main course plate came. What a feast! One thing that I've noticed with a great number of ethnic restaurants is that they will tone down the vibrant flavors of home for a cautious American audience. Thankfully, that is not the case here. Everything spoke of plenty of seasoning. The kebab, sadly, was not flaming as one would surmise by the name of the restaurant, but it did show evidence of being cooked by some very deft flame work. Both the chicken and the lamb had a very nice crust develop on the outside, with the center of each bit of meat on the sticks succulent and flavorful. The stuffed grape leaves were the surprise smash hit for us. They were assertively seasoned, filled with rice and meat, and were definitely way more than the sum of their parts.

While I wouldn't take people there for the atmophere (c'mon guys, even a couple of travel posters would make a world of difference!), I'll certainly be back time and again to Flaming Kabob for the food. I certainly feel like I got my money's worth thanks to some of the best Middle Eastern food in the farther reaches of the East Valley. OK, so it's likely some of the only Middle Eastern food to be found out that way, but still, it's great stuff.

Flaming Kabob Cuisine
2252 E Baseline Rd
Mesa, AZ
NW Corner of Baseline and Gilbert, facing Baseline
480-813-6555

Open For: Lunch, Dinner
Food: 5 (absolutely delicious; ardent fans of Middle Eastern cuisine may find the menu a bit pedestrian for their taste though)
Service: 3 (Friendly, eager to please; I think our waitress was a little green, but it added to the mom-n-pop charm)
Atmosphere: 1 (It would be nice if the interior didn't still scream 5 & Diner)
Value: 4 (Very satisfied with the food)
Kid Friendly? 3 (limited American kids' menu; more adventuresome wee ones should be able to order small bites off the regular menu or share one of the platters with ease, though)
Price: 1-2 (mostly inexpensive)
Overall: 4 (I liked it quite a bit)

New & Noteworthy Blog

2007-01-03T16:20:00.000-07:00

Michele Laudig, the new reviewer at the Phoenix New Times, has a new blog, titled Chow Bella. Both her blog and her weekly reviews in the New Times are very nice chow writing, check 'em out.

I (heart) PBLoco

2007-01-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

The peanut butter from PBLoco is outrageously good stuff. I have a jar of the European Cafe Mocha flavor here, and it's nearly half gone from sneaky snacking. I imagine it would make a great ice cream sauce if it was thinned out with a little bit of cream. The only thing I'm not a big fan of is the consistency; the peanut butter is a little runnier than I'd like at room temperature, and very very hard when refrigerated. Still, it's utterly delicious stuff. There's a PBLoco store at Scottsdale Fashion Square, and people close to a Super Target can find the Jungle Banana, Dark Chocolate Raspberry, and European Cafe Mocha for a buck less than the PBLoco store sells it.

Consume Mass Quanitites, Rose Bowl Edition

2006-12-30T02:43:00.000-07:00

Lawry's The Prime Rib in Beverly Hills does a special event for the Rose Bowl players called the Beef Bowl. On two separate nights, both teams get to dine to their hearts' content on prime rib, creamed, corn, mashed potatoes, and apple pie for dessert. This year, the Michigan team downed a whopping 612 pounds of prime rib. Dayum.

On a sad note, the vast majority of the cooked to order prime rib was served well done.

It's That Time of Year Again

2006-12-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

I had a family get-together at Old ~~People's~~ Country Buffet this past weekend. Dear Lord, I forgot how incredibly horrid the food is over there. Especially frightening standouts included "Risotto-Style Rice", a gloppy blend of long-grain rice with chopped broccoli and cheese sauce; a hot fudge pudding cake noted for its almost complete lack of flavor; and... enchiladas. There are certain things I will do in the name of my dear readers, but touching one of those dried out things with a ten-foot pole is not one of them. When the $1.99 breakfast* at IKEA looks like a truly terrific alternative, there's something seriously wrong with the picture, n'est-ce pas? Oh, speaking of IKEA, my morbid curiosity got the better of me, and I tried their Thursday night dinner special of prime rib. It's a good sized cut, I'm going to guess about 12 or 14 ounces, and thankfully pink in the middle. It came with a baked potato and vegetables for 8 bucks. While it certainly wasn't close to what you'd get at a decent steakhouse, it was better than it had any right to be for the price. Maybe some time I'll go see if they do a decent job with lobster on Tuesday night.

Anyway, back to the holiday goings-on. After we left the buffet, it was off to Grandpa's place to exchange gifts. I put together the exact same thing for everyone, a deluxe treat plate. Included was half a pound cake, some colossal loaded oatmeal cookies (loaded with Montmorency cherries, cranberries, pecans, and bittersweet chocolate), crispy chocolate chip cookies, and not one but two kinds of fudge. Ah, fudge, the fruitcake of the 21st century. Every single square of homemade fudge I have ever eaten in my entire life has been the too-sweet, slightly grainy kind with not nearly enough chocoate flavor. I swear everyone out there has the exact same recipe, the one with evaporated milk and Marshmallow Fluff.

Everyone except yours truly, that is.

This year, I tried out the recipe Cook's Illustrated published in their recent issue. It is:

1 pound finely chopped semisweet chocolate
2 ounces finely chopped unsweetened chocolate
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt

tossed in a bowl until the baking soda and salt are nicely distributed. Then, you add a 14 ounce can of sweetened condensed milk, and stir to coat the chocolate. The bowl then gets set over a pan of simmering water, and the contents get stirred until the chocolate has almost melted. Then, pull the bowl off the pan (be careful of the escaping steam), stir it until all of the chocolate has melted, and mix in a cup of coarsely chopped toasted walnuts. The whole mess then goes into a foil lined and greased 8 inch square pan, and put in the fridge for a couple of hours until the fudge has set up enough to be taken out of the pan and cut into squares.

This stuff is truly amazing fudge. The unsweetened chocolate gives a good flavor boost, and the little bit of baking soda reacts with the acidity of the chocolate to keep things light. I may play around with this recipe... I'm tempted to pick up some of the Andes mint baking chips and see how those turn out.

*The breakfast at IKEA is bacon, scrambled eggs, cottage fries, Swedish (what did you expect?) pancakes with lingonberry sauce, and coffee. Yes, all that for less than a latte at Starbucks. If you want the price of breakfast at IKEA to remain reasonable, have plans for what to do after breakfast. Otherwise, you might feel like going for a wee bit of a stroll, and oh why look there's a whole store to wander through right here!

It's a new feature!

2006-11-22T15:53:00.000-07:00

I found something that I thought was very cool, and think it will make a worthwhile addition to the site. It's called Meebo, and is visible in the sidebar to the right. If I'm online, you can chat with me directly from this site. Feel free to ask me anything about Phoenix area food, cooking, or whatever else is on your mind. Particularly noteworthy conversations just might end up here on the site.

Jester Relocation Project

2006-11-22T12:49:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that I have finally moved from out in the sticks to my own place in central Phoenix. While this does mean I likely won't been seen as much at some of my favorite old haunts, there's tons and tons of exploring to do in this part of town.

Red Devil has quickly earned a place in my heart for being a darn near perfect neighborhood pizza joint. The pizza there is very chow-worthy indeed. I am thankful that La Madeleine still exists in the Valley at 32nd Street and Camelback, in the same shopping center as Delux. I went there about a week or so ago after a very long day of moving things into the new apartment, and remembered that La Madeleine is one of the best places in town for soothing comfort food. The atmosphere is warm and inviting, with a French country house feel and classical music playing gently on the sound system. All of the food I have had there has been absolutely delicious, certainly the cream of the crop as far as chains go. It certainly isn't cheap as far as quick-service outlets go; we each had a glass of wine, cup of soup, and an entree, and our bill came close to 40 dollars. However, I would say that it is most certainly worth it. Grocery shopping is certainly more enjoyable now; there's Trader Joe's, Phoenix Ranch Market, and Sprouts all within two or three miles of here. Previously, it was 5 miles to Basha's, 20 miles to the nearest Trader Joe's. I will miss the easier access to Super Target, they have some really great things over there.

One thing I love about having my new place is that I can have friends over and cook for them much easier than before. I'm so thrilled that I have a gas stove now! It's made cooking so much more enjoyable already. I inaugurated the kitchen last night with a Chinese dinner of orange flavored chicken, and beef with broccoli. According to the recipes it should have served eight people. There were five of us, and the only thing left was a bunch of rice (I always make extra rice so fried rice is a quick dinner option in the near future), and several strips of bell pepper that were in the beef with broccoli. So much for the idea of taking leftovers to work! I do know now that making stir-fry in this place does have some advance prep work. Namely, open the patio door, close the bedroom doors, turn on the vent hood, and toss a wet washcloth over the living room smoke alarm until I'm done cooking.

2006-10-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

Live report from superstition springs mall: Melt Gelato opening in the near future. Can they unseat the Lombardo clan for my favorite gelato in Phoenix? Stay tuned!

Bites: Waffle House, Chandler AZ

2006-10-12T04:08:00.000-07:00

I had a Waffle House craving recently. I went to the one in Chandler, and I'll be damned if it wasn't one of the best breakfasts I've had in recent memory. It was 1 AM. I was absolutely famished after a long day at work, and for whatever reason, I was craving Waffle House. My friend and I slid into a booth. I got the All-American Combo, featuring two eggs, bacon (or sausage if you prefer), hash browns (or grits), toast (I went with raisin), and a waffle, all for $6.99. A few extra coins got the hash browns scattered, smothered, covered, and topped (set loosely on the grill, with grilled onions, cheese, and chili), and pecans added to the waffle. I realized it was a little too quiet in there, and put some Aretha Franklin on the jukebox. We chatted, we watched the cook make our chow, and then our waitress brought the food over. Everything was sheer bliss. The eggs were cooked exactly right, the bacon was just the perfect crispness, the hash browns nice and crisp, and the waffle... oh the waffle was terrific. I have not had satisfaction from an all-night diner like this in a very, very long time. I may end up going out of the way to the Chandler Waffle House just because it was so damn good.

A bientôt, mon ami.

2006-09-13T16:03:00.000-07:00

The La Madeleine at Scottsdale Fashion Square in Scottsdale, AZ has closed after a twelve year run. I will miss them greatly, I doubt that I will ever get to dine on real plates with real flatware and drink from stemware in the middle of a mall food court again. Merci beaucoup for the memories, La Madeline!

Thankfully, there is still La Madeleine's unique charm to be had in town, just down the road at 32nd Street and Camelback in Phoenix, same shopping center as Delux.

Review: AZ88, Scottsdale, AZ

2006-08-26T03:22:00.000-07:00

First off, my apologies for not posting much on here. I've been having plenty of food adventures, but haven't been feeling the urge to write. There is more to come, including trips to Fate in Phoenix, and the Creole legend Commander's Palace in Las Vegas. Now, on to your regularly scheduled review.

Through my time on Chowhound, I have noticed that legendary reviewer Seth Chadwick and I have had more than a bit of synchronicity. There have been several times that one of us has reviewed something, and the other had just recently either been to that restaurant or had some other similar experience. You know how Seth Chadwick's most recent review was of Blu Burger Grill? AZ88 is a posh Scottsdale burger joint. Like Bette Davis uttered in All About Eve, "Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night."

My experience started off well enough, meeting up with a bunch of my friends from work. We got a banquette table big enough for all of us. The whole place is very modern and comfortable, with sleek, reasonably comfortable furnishings all over the place. I'm glad they weren't very busy; the combination of cathedral ceiling and lack of soft surfaces would surely make it almost impossible to hear anything when the place is hopping. I looked through their cocktail menu and noticed one of their feature cocktails was the legendary Sazerac, a combination of rye whiskey, a dash of Herbsaint (a New Orleans creation made as a substitute for absinthe), Peychaud's Bitters, and a little bit of sugar to mellow things out. If you haven't had a Sazerac before, I can tell you it is certainly worth seeking one out. Don't do it at AZ88, though. They put too much sugar in there, making it taste more like a whiskey punch. Thankfully, there wasn't so much sugar that it wasn't drinkable, just enough that the noticeable flavor was just sweet instead of the desired balance of sweet and strong. I could have sworn they put some Sprite in there (heaven forbid), but maybe my taster was just off.

Our server was obviously new to serving; he half-heartedly asked if we wanted appetizers, then sort of wandered off. An off-duty server from AZ88 was sitting with us, and *she* ended up taking our order instead. If a brand new server is THIS green, he has no business trying to wrangle a table of 8 on his own. He really should have had some kind of help instead of just getting thrown to the wolves like this. I can't fault him for this, but he certainly left me plenty to fault him for nonetheless. I ordered their Burger Au Poivre II, a peppercorn-crusted burger with a burgundy wine sauce, topped with blue cheese and bacon; thankfully, AZ88 will let you do your burger medium-rare, and that's exactly how I ordered it. I waited a while for my burger, my drink sat empty, and eventually my burger arrived. It was well done. The accompanying fries were both overcooked and cold. I already wasn't happy from the lack of server attention, this did not make things any better. I sat for a few minutes, trying to get the server's attention. He got a drink order from the girl next to me, I tried to signal him and thought I made eye contact with him, and he left. He brought the lady's drink, and left again. The off-duty server (you might notice I'm not mentioning the off-duty server's name, there is a reason for this you'll find out soon enough) noticed that I was absolutely steaming at this point. She then took the burger back to the kitchen to get remade. At this point, I was very much ready for another drink. I went against my good judgment and ordered something that tends to be a bit tricky to make, a classic cocktail called the Monkey Gland. It's a mix of gin and orange juice, with a dash of Pernod and a dash of grenadine, served straight up. It's a simple enough cocktail, but there's a twist that will trap all but the most seasoned bartenders; Pernod is a particularly strong liqueur. Use too much and it will completely take over the drink. The bartender used too much, and you couldn't taste anything but Pernod. To compound the problem, the bartender barely shook the drink before pouring it, and therefore was a good bit warmer than the ice-cold that I was expecting. There are few things in life less pleasant than warm gin.

When my remade burger came out, the burger was done to the right temperature and everything was hot, but the fries were oversalted almost to the point of inedibility. The burger itself was dominated by the blue cheese, and the beef was almost flavorless. I think the bun was specially made for them, as I hadn't seen one like it anywhere else, but it was flabby bread that threatened to surrender to the juices from the medium rare burger, and offered no substance or flavor of its own to add to the burger. The one shining part of the burger was the bacon; nice, thick-cut bacon with some good smoky flavor of its own. I somehow ate half of the burger, but I was feeling too vitriolic at this point to want any more food.

I finally managed to get the waiter's attention, and did get a glass of water from him to quench the excess sodium on the fries. He was quick to get the water (it would have been nicer if he offered some at the start!), but the glass was eight ounces at most. It's water, it's free, could you at least give me more than three swigs? I drained it in five seconds, and by some miracle caught his eye so he could get me another. After the second water, I never saw him near the table again except to get me a box for the rest of my burger. At this point, I wrote off the complete meal as a loss. I went for the manager (I would have asked the server for the manager, but I wasn't about to wait another twenty minutes for him to appear again). I explained to him how everything was off for me and the server was still much too wet behind the ears. I got something that resembled an apology, along with an explanation that this was the server's first night on the floor. The manager said he'd be over at my table in a few minutes. He never came. Instead, he sent the off-duty server over with a revised check that comped my ridiculously screwed up burger. Hey, Manager! If you say you're going to do something, you really should do it, especially if the person you you were talking to is not a happy camper. I understand that bad things happen all the time; the true service level of a restaurant is most evident when taking care of an angry customer. At this absolutely essential point of service, you failed. Miserably.

My Sazerac was eight dollars, the Monkey Gland was a whopping eleven bucks. Apparently, a pour of their house gin is 9 dollars (and they don't even have the decency to use a name-brand liquor at that price! I don't even WANT to know how much it would have been if I asked for Tanqueray), and for the privilege of rinsing the ice with Pernod, they charge 2 dollars. Two bucks for half a teaspoon of Pernod? You have absolutely GOT to be kidding. The markup on that is something like 20 times the cost. Even with the comped food, I felt like I was getting way, way overcharged. But then, this is the heart of downtown Scottsdale, where people somehow think that because they're paying too much, the place must be really great.

The very last straw was when I was paying up, still incensed at the combination of pitiful service and overpriced everything. I was grumbling at how I felt ripped off by the experience, and then the off-duty server opened her yap, and said in a very snide tone, "Well if you don't like it, you don't have to come back." I was ready to tip the off duty server quite nicely for being so helpful during the meal, but after mouthing off to me like that, I decided my money would stay right in my wallet. Damn right I won't come back! I'll go over to Delux, where they serve up much better burgers for less, pour well-made, generously sized cocktails, and the servers don't act like I'm making their social hour difficult by expecting a refill on my water.

Ratings below are on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being high. Occasionally, zeros and sixes may be awarded for exceptional cases.

AZ88
Scottsdale Civic Center (south of Indian School and Drinkwater)
Food: 1 (I hated it)
Service: 0 (Not Acceptable)
Atmosphere: 4 (I liked it)
Overall: 1 (I hated it)
Value: 1 (Very poor)
Kid Friendly: 2 (Not a good idea)
Open for: Lunch Mon-Fri, Dinner, Late Night

2006-08-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

I was thrilled to see the McDonald's on Southern west of Dobson had completely disappeared, leaving a pile of rubble in its wake. Then I noticed the sign on the chain link fence stating it would reopen in late November. Oh well, those three seconds in the interim were glorious.

Good news, and better news!

2006-07-27T04:17:00.000-07:00

First, the good news: Trader Vic's got quite the good review in the Phoenix New Times.

The better news: The rat bastard Stephen Lemons isn't doing the food review anymore! The new gal is so much easier to read. Thank goodness.

I Hate Being Sick

2006-06-23T03:12:00.000-07:00

I've had some wicked bug for the last five or six days. I thought it was done for, then it came back for Round 2 after a hellish evening at work. But that's more than you need to know. The thing I hate about being sick is that it COMPLETELY throws off any Chowhoundish nature I have. Gimme a ton of Gatorade and a box of Ritz crackers when I have the flu, and I couldn't be happier. Tonight, for some reason I was craving mashed potatoes, and WOW they came out absolutely perfect. I took a pound of potatoes in their skins, brought them to a boil, and then let them simmer until I could poke one with a paring knife and it slid right back into the water. I drained off the potatoes, and put them through a ricer (easily the fastest way to do mashers- just cut them in half, put one half in the ricer cut side down, and press through. The skin stays in the ricer hopper) back into the hot pan. Then, in went 4 tablespoons of very well softened butter and then 1/2 cup of warm milk (I would have used half and half or maybe some heavy cream, but the half and half I found in the back of the fridge was close to collecting Social Security). That last bit is very important, the butter, THEN the milk. If you mix them in at the same time or mix in the milk first, the starch in the potatoes will soak up the water content in the milk and make something resembling glue; mixing in the butter first coats the starch with fat so that it won't soak up all that moisture. Then in go the seasonings (about 3/4 teaspoon of salt and some ground black pepper are mandatory, I also added some Brady Street Cheese Sprinkle from Penzey's), and it's done. They're wonderfully fluffy, silky smooth, and just oh so wonderful.

Lemonade

2006-06-05T00:24:00.000-07:00

I just recently tried the lemonade recipe from the current issue of Cook's Country, and dayum, that's some great lemonade! It's certainly easy enough- cut one lemon into thin slices, and muddle it with 1-1/2 cups of sugar, using a potato masher or similar large blunt object, until the sugar starts to dissolve. Add 7 cups of water and 2 cups fresh lemon juice, strain out the lemon slices, stir well, chill, and serve. If you like, you can add 2 cups of strawberries (or other berries, or even go crazy and try peaches or mangoes, the possibilities are endless!), 1 cup of fresh mint leaves, or 1/4 cup of grated fresh ginger to the lemon slices and sugar before muddling.

Cooking: Grill Madness

2006-06-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

I live in the Phoenix area. It gets hot around here. No, wait, I take that back. It gets really damn hot around here. Today the high was somewhere over 110 degrees. Needless to say, I spent as much of the day as possible indoors. Eventually, dinner sounded like a good idea, and cooking anything indoors did most certainly NOT sound like a good idea. So, I decided to fire up the grill and put together a feast. I knew that the main course was going to be some kind of grilled chicken breast (a freezer staple item around here), and then started to scavenge around for other possible items to throw on the grill. I almost did a cold rice salad since we have some leftover rice on the fridge, but my love of baking prevailed and I made grilled garlic flatbread. Also on the side were grilled green beans, and grilled fruit for dessert.

The chicken itself was simple enough. I wasn't in the mood for a BBQ or sweet and sour glaze (both of which I had in the fridge), so I put together one made out of hoisin sauce, soy sauce to loosen up the mixture and provide savoriness, honey for an additional sweet note, orange muscat champagne vinegar to brighten the mix (I would have used rice vinegar but I was out... shhhhh don't tell), and some red chile flakes for spice, and took a taste. I could tell it needed something, but wasn't sure what. Off to the overflowing spice rack I went to see what I could do. Eventually, the jerk spice blend caught my eye. I added a very generous sprinkle, and was most pleased with the result. A dash of black pepper rounded things out. The chicken was an easy preparation- brush the glaze on one side, grill glazed side down, brush more glaze on, flip, and cook until done.

Grilled flatbread technically was a very simple grilled pizza topped with nothing more than extra-virgin olive oil and kosher salt. I started out by sauteing garlic and thyme (I should have used the fresh rosemary on the back porch, but alas I forgot about it) in 2 tablespoons of olive oil, then blending that into 4 cups of flour, a packet of rapid-rise yeast, and 1-1/2 teaspoons of salt in the food processor. Then, I pulsed in 1-1/2 cups of warm (110 F/43C) water, kept pulsing until the dough came together, then let the processor run for 30 seconds. After a couple of kneads on the counter, I let it rest until doubled, split it into 8 pieces, pulled each one into a nice little ball, and let them rest under a damp towel for a few minutes so I wouldn't have to fight the gluten. I then squished each one out into 1/4 inch thick rounds, placed them on floured cookie sheets (you think I'm letting my wood pizza peel anywhere near the griddle? Yeah right!), and took them out to the grill. Once there, I brushed extra-virgin olive oil on each piece of dough, gave it a good sprinkle of kosher salt, and placed it oil side down on the grill. I let it cook for a couple of minutes until it was set and had grill lines on one side, then brushed on more oil (the flare-ups from drips were thrilling to say the least!), gave them a flip, and cooked them for a few minutes on the other side before pulling them off the grill. These came out absolutely fantastic. I can see myself putting this together every time we're planning on doing grilled meat for dinner.

Making Jamaica

2006-06-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

I tried out the recipe over on epicurious.com for jamaica, a Mexican agua fresca (the name translates literally to "fresh water"; aguas frescas are a blend of fruit, sugar, and water) made from hibiscus blossoms. I used 3 ounces of the hibiscus flowers, 1 cup of sugar, and a gallon of water. To start, I got the water to a boil, then added the hibiscus and sugar. Once it returned to a boil, I let the mixture simmer for 10 minutes, then strained out the hibiscus flowers and let it chill. It turned out pretty good, but I think it could be stronger on hibiscus and definitely sweeter too; it had a light, pleasant sweetness, but didn't have the right sweetness level to taste like every other agua fresca that I've had. I know that next time it would greatly help to have a lid on the pot, I lost almost a quart of water to the combination of evaporation and the hibiscus absorbing liquid. Speaking of which, one of these times I'll try squishing down the hibiscus to get some good concentrated flavor back into the pitcher where it belongs.

I'd like to try fixing the sweetness and strength levels at the same time, but I would prefer to fix one variable at a time in the recipe. The first will be adjusting sweetness, then seeing if pressing the hibiscus will make for a stronger end product, then finally adjusting the amount of hibiscus leaves. In Cook's Country, they just published a recipe for some positively delicious lemonade, and it uses 1/2 cup of sugar for every 3 cups of liquid; I think I'll do 2 cups of sugar next time, and go from there.

Wow, that was yum

2006-05-25T21:26:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for bearing with me through this period of Not Much Posting. I have been in training for Trader Vic's, which means I have a brand new job, and *that* means I don't have much money coming in... yet. Thankfully, that all changes starting tomorrow. I have now tasted everything on the menu, and I think I can safely tell you that everything on the menu is very good. The appetizers were for the most part very impressive; my favorite was the Crab Rangoon (they use actual Dungeness crab in it!) and the calamari with wasabi mayo. The calamari has a tempura-style batter on it, is cooked perfectly, and the wasabi mayo side adds just the right flavors. For first courses, you can't go wrong with either of the soups. The Bongo Bongo soup is a Trader Vic's original, a very savory cream of spinach soup enhanced with oysters. Their Won Ton Soup is bar none the best I've had anywhere, very fresh tasting with deeeeelicious won tons. On the main course, you have GOT to try things from the wood fire oven. The most outstanding dishes from the oven were the pork chops, ribeye steak, and Indonesian rack of lamb. Items from the woks were also excellent; dishes such as the chicken chow mein and kung pao chicken are all perfectly executed, and the Szechwan Prawns are unbelievable, the sauce on them is so good I picked up my tasting plate and licked it clean. The desserts were for the most part nothing out of the ordinary, except for the chocolate macadamia nut tart, and the rum ice cream with pecan praline sauce. The coffee creme brulee is quite good, but after the time I made classic creme brulee at home, I'm completely spoiled on my version. So, my ultimate dinner for two at Trader Vic's:

Cocktails: Tiki Bowl for two (or just about anything, all the cocktails are out of this world)
Appetizer: Crab Rangoon (and maybe some calamari too)
First Course: Trader Vic's Salad and Won Ton Soup (shared between us)
Main Course: BBQ Pork Chop and Szechwan Prawns
Desserts: Rum Ice Cream and Sorbet Trio (the BBQ meats are very rich and scream for a light fruity dessert afterward) with a coffee drink

Preview: Trader Vic's

2006-05-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, I'm in training to be a server at the new Scottsdale location of Trader Vic's. It's been rough, I tell ya... learning about all the products by tasting them. We got our first taste of the food tonight, and all I can say is WOW. What we tasted tonight was utterly amazing. The staff who has worked at other Trader Vic's locations are telling me "Wait till we get to the really good stuff!"

I can hardly wait.

Cooking: Lemon Meringue Pie

2006-04-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

I recently picked up a copy of Rose Levy Beranbaum's Pie and Pastry Bible at Bookman's. For quite some time, I've been waiting for a craving for one of the specific pies in this weighty tome to strike; there's so many absolutely phenomenal looking things in here, there's just no way to choose except to wait for a craving to strike. It finally did, and its name was lemon meringue. I can definitely say that Beranbaum's instructions are quite well written, I never felt like I was at a loss for what to do next. There are three parts to a lemon meringue pie; the crust, the filling, and the meringue topping. The crust she recommended was the Basic Flaky Pie Crust, and then for an especially light meringue that won't weep, an Italian meringue, made by whipping hot sugar syrup into beaten egg whites.

The recipe itself isn't too bad; bake the crust, make the filling and add to the hot crust, make meringue and top the pie, then bake until the top is nicely browned. This time through, everything but the crust has been chalked up to a learning experience. I was going off the visual cues that Beranbaum gave for the cooked filling (thick, smooth, and translucent) and not the temperature the cooked filling was supposed to reach (190 degrees F). Next time, it's getting cooked to 190. When I picked the pie up off the cooling rack, I saw the meringue jiggle around. Uh oh. My fears were confirmed when I tried to pick up the first slice; I made lemon meringue soup.

The meringue also was also much less than perfect; this was my first time doing an Italian meringue, where hot sugar syrup is beaten into whipped egg whites. For what it's worth, this was my first time that I'd done anything involving the culinary napalm that is boiling sugar syrup. I now know for next time to not scrape out the pan when transferring the hot syrup to another vessel. As you may guess by now, there were little chips of sugar flint all through the meringue.

Then there was the pie crust... oh Lord, was there the pie crust. If the pie crust is any indication, I'm going to have people begging me for the recipe once I have the lemon filling and meringue down pat. It was far and away the best pie crust I've ever eaten... it was tender, yet incredibly flaky, and for once it was a blind-baked crust that didn't shrink in the oven! I'd better be careful, I might end up making the pie crust and baking it just to eat it... wow, it was good stuff.

Signs You're Dating a Chowhound

2006-04-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

This should be fun...

1) They take you to a restaurant you have never heard of, in a part of town that you normally wouldn't venture into.

2) You recommend a really trendy restaurant and they look at you like you grew a second head.

3) You try to take them to Olive Garden and they threaten to break up with you.

4) They have a cookbook on their nightstand.

5) If you take them out for dinner and a movie, they don't care a whit about the movie.

Cooking: Pan Pizza from Cook's Country Magazine

2006-04-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

We did the pepperoni pan pizza from the most recent issue of Cook's Country magazine and it is pretty darn good. There's a couple of minor tweaks I'd make... First is to do more herbs in the sauce than 2 cloves of garlic for a 28 ounce can of crushed tomatoes. Second is that I wish the dough was a bit richer... maybe substituting some melted butter for some of the olive oil would do the trick? Other than those, it came out absolutely wonderful. I loved their trick of microwaving the pepperoni in between a few layers of paper towels to get rid of the grease; puddles of orange oil have plagued more than one pizza I've made, and this one had none of it. I can see doing triple batches of this instead of calling out for Papa John's again the next time everyone wants pizza.

Chowhound Rules of Thumb

2006-04-07T10:28:00.000-07:00

Something I've been meaning to do for a while is the Chowhound Rules of Thumb. These are various things about restaurants that will be true just about no matter what. Some time soon I'll make this a sticky article and put it up on the sideboard. And maybe I'll update the recent CDs, I keep picking them up and am about 15 behind. This list will most certainly grow with time, and feel free to suggest your own. If I like it enough I'll use it as part of the list.

#1: If a restaurant has a special gimmick, the restaurant will use that gimmick for all it's worth in hopes that you won't notice how bad the food is.
Corollary: If the restaurant moves in any way, whether it's because it's on a boat, or rotates at the top of a building, this goes double. Especially if it rotates at the top of a building.
Corollary 2: If they offer dinner and a show at the same time (such as Medieval Times does), the food will be industrial fare no better than from a Hometown Buffet.

#2: If there is an adjective as part of the name, such as "authentic" or "good", the opposite will be true. This goes both ways, I've heard good things about a place called Terrible's.

#3: Places that leave the cents off the menu (Filet of sole........... 23) charge 2 dollars more than they should for an entree.

#4: If jalapeño poppers are on the appetizer list, anything on the menu that could come from a bag in the freezer (i.e. 90 percent of the appetizers and at least half of the sides) comes from a bag in the freezer.

#5: Things wrapped in bacon taste really good. If the best praise you've heard about a restaurant is "The bacon wrapped (insert foodstuff here)" is AMAZING!" go elsewhere for dinner.

Tasting: Coke Blak

2006-04-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

I'm intrigued by the vast line-up of flavored sodas to give a twist on classic beverage fare. In the last few years we've seen coke with cherry, vanilla, cherry and vanilla, lemon, lime, and goodness knows what else I missed. The gurus at the Coca-Cola company have come up with yet another iteration of their timeless drink. Coke Blak is certainly an interesting twist... coffee flavored Coke. It works better than it sounds... the coffee sparks the mild acidity of Coke, while the spices in the Coke do great things to the coffee. Now if only they'd use sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup... aie. It's available in glass bottles at convenience stores.

Review: Burger King, Scottsdale AZ

2006-04-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

I tried out some new mass market products today, and thought I might as well tell you all about it, since this is a food blog and all. First up was the new french toast breakfast sandwich from Burger King. I will start out by mentioning I absolutely despise BK. They're bland as hell, unless the food is overly salty, their menu board is in desparate need of a new color, and they just try WAY too hard to be "edgy". I think the idea going through my head when I went there this morning was "If I buy one, will you PLEASE stop playing those damn ads?"

I get to the drive-thru and order the sammitch with ham on it (knowing full well that their sausage is positively horrid), a medium order of the Cheesy Tots that someone was telling me about, and my standard fast food breakfast beverage, orange juice (I'm reminded of putting hot fudge on frozen yogurt... it's still bad for you, but hey it's yogurt so it's a little healthy, right?). I pull around to the window, pay up with plastic, see my food sitting in the drive-thru window while the drive-thru person goes and takes care of something else (apparently one guest at the counter and one at the drive-thru constitutes a major rush for these people), and eventually get my food. I check in the bag and see the sammitch, and a small order of hash browns. Grr. I do understand these things happen, so I went in and told the person at the counter what happened. They looked at it, took the hash brown order out of the bag and put it back under the heat lamp (!), then put in my correct order. Before I got my correct order, the drive-thru person protested that I hadn't paid for that one. Holy christ. I've worked in the service industry for a very, very long time, and have learned two simple rules:

1) If there is a problem, the customer is right.
2) If the customer is wrong, see rule 1.

For something as minor as a miscommunication on an order, all that should happen is a swift apology and fixing the order. Protesting that you think you're right should never, EVER be done.

Anyway, once I got things fixed and back on the road, I started chowing down. The french toast sandwich is almost as good as the McGriddle sandwiches from McDonalds... in other words, it sucks. Their eggs are almost flavorless, the cheese completely unnoticeable after it got absorbed by the bread, and the bread has the same blah feel as a French toast stick. The only thing even remotely good was the ham, which was sliced nicely thin and had some flavor to it. I think if for some reason I go back to Burger King for breakfast, I'll do this with no egg, extra cheese, and hope to God they have raspberry jam, and have a luxurious Monte Cristo sandwich for breakfast. Well, at least a somewhat reasonable facsimile of one. The cheesy tot things were quite possibly one of the worst things I have eaten in a very long time. It was something that tasted sort of like cheese with little bits of almost cooked potato, wrapped in breading and deep fried. It was kinda cheesy, kinda crisp, but mostly a pasty mess. Whoever mentioned them with a smile in the first place should fear my wrath, and then I'll make him a breakfast that actually tastes good. Oh, and as for the orange juice... something that has a little bit of pulp in it won't kill us. Really.

And what an honor, Burger King has received the first ever score on What the Jester Had for Dinner of 0 on the 1 to 5 scale. The normal scale is:

5: I love it!
4: I like it.
3: It's OK.
2: I don't like it.
1: I hate it!

On rare occasions, you'll see the 0, which stands for Not Acceptable. This is for those times that something is just plain unforgivably awful, such as the double whammy of implying that I did something wrong AND putting food that had been given to a guest back on the serving line. Whatever the offense, it is absolutely certain that I will never, EVER visit the place again. On the other end is the 6, which will simply be known as "Oh. My. God." These are the places that do things just so extraordinary that you tell EVERYONE you know about it, from friends and family to the checker at the grocery store. If you see me rate something a 6, for goodness sakes get over there NOW. Just stay the hell away from Burger King.

Burger King
Scottsdale Rd north of the 202
Food: 1
Service: 0 (Not Acceptable)
Atmosphere: 2
Overall: 1
Value: 2
Price: 1 (Cheap Eats)
Kid Friendly: 4
Open for: B, L, D

2006-04-06T12:57:00.000-07:00

Noooo... One of my favorite places for a Chinese lunch, Jasmine Palace on Scottsdale and Thunderbird, has closed up shop. The chocolate wontons will be sorely missed, along with the lunch buffet that was, for once, some outstanding chow.

Review: Houston's, Scottsdale AZ

2006-04-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

Again, not much in a writing mood right now...

In a nutshell, it's an above average chain. The food is solid but uninspired (and sometimes overseasoned),

Houston's
6113 N Scottsdale Rd
Scottsdale, AZ 85250

(480) 922-7775
Overall: 3
Food: 3
Service: 4
Atmosphere: 4 (Almost a 5, but like so many other restaurants it was too noisy)
Price: 3-4
Value: 2
Open For: L, D
Kid Friendly? 2

Review: Los Sombreros, Scottsdale AZ

2006-04-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

Full review on the way when I think about it... for now, here's the numbers.

Overall: 4
Food: 4
Service: 3
Atmosphere: 5
Prices: 3-4
Value: 3
Hours: D
Kid Friendly: 3

I Got New Equipment!

2006-03-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine realized that he wasn't using his stand mixer very much, and decided to sell the thing off for 20 bucks. It's a KitchenAid K5SS mixer, made by Hobart. He gave me first dibs on it. Naturally, I pounced on it like a fat kid on a cupcake. It now resides very happily in my kitchen, permanently on the counter because it's damn heavy... this thing is built like a tank. It has all of the standard attachments, plus a combination food grinder and pasta extruder. I am absolutely THRILLED to finally have a KitchenAid mixer in the house. We do have a Bosch around here, but it almost never sees the light of day because it's such a pain in the ass to use.

Making Sorbet

2006-03-22T21:04:00.000-07:00

Someone around the house picked up a tub of Dreyer's Slow Churned Light strawberry ice cream. As one can imagine with products that were never virtuous but made less bad for oneself, it was wholly unsatisfying. It just didn't taste like strawberry unless you hit the ribbon of strawberry flavored swirl, and even then it just tasted sweeter. So, I decided to take matters in my own hands and made some berry sorbet. I went off the Cook's Illustrated recipe, and started by pureeing 3 cups of berries with 1/2 cup of water in the food processor, and then strained out the solids. I added a cup of sugar, 1 tablespoon of lemon juice, and 1 tablespoon of rum (the recipe specifies vodka or berry liqueur, but I don't have either around here, and what would a strawberry daiquiri be without rum?), mixed it well, and let it chill first in the fridge, then the ice cream freezer. Once it reached relatively frozen consistency, I transferred it to a container and let it finish freezing in the freezer. The end product, while tasty, was much softer than I prefer. This would likely be due to the large amount of sugar. Sugar lowers the freezing point of the mixture; not enough and you end up with something hard and icy, too much and you end up with sorbet that doesn't freeze all the way through. I'll keep working on the recipe until I get it nailed down.

UPDATE: The sorbet needed an overnight stay in the fridge, not just a couple of hours. It's wonderful now.

Reviews: Wolf Creek Brewing Co, Valencia CA and Pink's, Los Angeles CA

2006-03-20T02:56:00.001-07:00

First off, big thanks to the Los Angeles Chowhounds. If it wasn't for you, this review wouldn't be possible. Alas, I didn't get to try as many of the suggestions as possible because I asked about the Valencia area and our hotel was in Pasadena 40 minutes away (I wish I had known before I got in the car to head over, there's some great looking stuff around there!), but I appreciate the help.

We went to Wolf Creek in Valencia after spending the day at Magic Mountain, and absolutely loved it. One friend of mine got the tri tip dinner, another friend got the meatloaf special, and I went with the blackened chicken pasta. All were utterly wonderful, and the portions quite generous, something we were glad about after not eating much at Magic Mountain (10 bucks for nachos that would cost 4 outside the park will do that to you!). I thought my dish was the best one; it had a good balance of pasta to veggies and chicken, the veggies were cooked just right, the pasta was al dente, and the level of seasoning was just right. We split a slice of the caramel chocolate chip cheesecake for dessert, and were pleasantly surprised when we found out it was on the house.

The next day, we were going to meet up with some friends for lunch in Hollywood, but we quickly scuttled those plans after finding out they were going to California Pizza Kitchen. It's a good thing cell phones don't come with buttons that let you strangle the person on the other end of the line, it would have had much use if it did. We were in the Hollywood area with nothing but my wits to guide us, and enough money for something cheap 'n cheerful. We almost stopped at the Tommy's on Hollywood Boulevard just off the 101 (may not be the most exciting of things, but at least it's something we don't have here in Phoenix), but then I remembered about Pink's hot dog stand on La Brea and Melrose. Thanks to the wonderfulness that is Google Local on cell phones, we were there lickety-split.

I am very, very glad we ended up at Pink's; they serve up one mean chili dog! I got the Today Show dog, which features two tube steaks, mustard, onion, chili, a slice of cheese, and guacamole, all on one bun. I wish the bun was a little bit more substantial, but then again, a bun that nondescript definitely doesn't compete with the toppings for dominance. Thankfully, the bun was sturdy enough to hold all of the toppings without conceding before you're done with the dog. The dog is easily one of the best I've had. I really appreciated the natural casings, and their chili is ridiculously good. We sampled sides of onion rings and chili cheese fries; neither one is all that great (they come frozen out of a bag), but the fries were a winner since they acted as a vehicle for more of the chili.

Again, thank you very much California hounds for your help on my journey, I really appreciated it. Hopefully next time, my friends will give me some advance notice so I can plan our eating better, but hey at least we didn't end up at CPK like the people we were supposed to meet ;-) Come on over to Phoenix some time, I'll be glad to show you around the best my hometown has to offer!

The Ratings:
(1 to 5, 5 is highest)

Wolf Creek Brewery
27746 N McBean Pkwy
Valencia, CA 91354
(661) 263-9653
Overall: 5
Food: 5
Service: 5
Atmosphere: 3
Prices: 3-4 (moderate to med-expensive)
Value: 3
Kid Friendly?: 4
Open Late?: No

Pink's
709 N La Brea
Los Angeles CA (Hollywood)
(323) 931-4223
Overall: 5
Food: 4
Service: 4
Atmosphere: 3 (it's hard to go wrong with al fresco dining)
Prices: 1 (Cheap Eats)
Value: 3
Kid Friendly? 3
Open Late? Goodness yes.
NB: Cash Only